Fairy Institution
by monkeywahl
Summary: They each have a story, a disorder, trauma. Each being admitted into their local mental hospital, they must face reality head on if they ever wish to recover and be discharged. Of course, along the way, friendships and bonds are made. And maybe, those friendships will be their main reason for success. [NaLu/GaJevy/Potentially triggering content]
1. Admit Me

_"All living things contain a measure of madness that moves them in strange, sometimes inexplicable ways. This madness can be saving; it is part and parcel of the ability to adapt. Without it, no species would survive." _  
><em>― Yann Martel<em>

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><p><strong><em>Chapter One<em>**

* * *

><p>This was becoming a nightly occurrence, and only recently has it gotten worse.<p>

Jude's digital clock sat on the nightstand that stood next to his bed, reading _4__:04 A.M. _The bright red light projected itself from the screen onto Jude's tired, old face. _  
><em>

He woke up to muffled feminine yells from a few doors down.

Lucy's room.

Groaning, the widower swung his pajama-covered legs over his bed, and slipped on his blue slippers. Rubbing his eyes, he began to trudge along towards his daughter's room. "Every single damn night," he muttered to himself along the way. As he got closer, the harsh yells from before transformed into a playful tone.

Taking a deep breath once outside the female's room, Jude grabbed the nob and turned, continuing forward to open the door. He opened the door to find Lucy mid-laugh, sitting on the carpeted floor. "Lucy, what the hell. Who are you laughing at? There's nothing here. Go to sleep, it's four in the morning for Christ's sake!"

The blonde looked stunned, but didn't make eye contact, which bewildered her father. "What are you talking about, Father? Virgo's here." Lucy's eyebrows furrowed as she pointed to an empty side of her room, still refusing to look up at him. Jude narrowed his eyes, and his lips turned down, forming a frown.

"Wha- who?.. You better stop talking like that, Lucy. How many times do I have to tell you that there's **no one here**." The wealthy man leaned up against the door frame, staring down at his daughter disapprovingly. Her eyes darted back and fourth across the floor while her teeth dug into her lip.

"How many times do I have to tell _you, _Dad, that there _is_! Virgo's been talking about getting punishment for being bad." Lucy chuckled almost void of emotion, waving her hand off towards the empty space. "I don't even know what she did wrong."

Jude squeezed the bridge of his nose with his index finger, middle, and thumb. "Lucy, we do this almost every single night. I don't understand what's wrong with you."

The blonde looked taken back at his sudden statement, and her eyebrows furrowed once again. "N-nothing's wrong with me. I just don't understand...how you can't see my friends.."

While Lucy hung her head, Jude shook his. "They aren't real. There's nothing here. There never has been."

Tears welled up in Lucy's eyes suddenly, but not spilling over just yet. "They are! I swear they are!... No, Virgo, I'm okay."

A look of disgust played across Jude's features, and he _tsk-_ed. "You need help."

Walking out of his daughter's room, he stopped to look back at the teenage girl with dark bags under his eyes. "Pack your stuff. You're leaving in the morning." Closing the door behind him, he walked back to his bedroom to make a very important phone call.

**_[-]_**

"Are your things packed?" Lucy's father asked, not looking up from the newspaper he was reading. She poked around at the scrambled eggs on her plate, chin leaning into the palm of her hand. "Is this poisoned?" Lucy asked, eyeing her father suspiciously. "You're definitely trying to poison me with this food," she whispered. "_What?"_ he snapped. "You know what? Never mind. It's not poisoned you imbecile. I'll have the maids pack your things. You're leaving in two hours."

The young female bit her lip, confusion ripping through her. "It's not poisoned huh," she whispered to herself. A few moments later she asked, "Where are you sending me, Father?"

"Fairy Institution."

"What's," she paused, for an unknown reason, "that?"

"A mental hospital."

Lucy's heart plummeted into her stomach upon listening to her father's words.

_Mental...hospital?_

Crux had told Lucy before, that those places are for psychos, and she'd never belong in one. Had he lied to her? Crux would never lie to her. She's not a psycho.

Lucy dropped the metal fork, which then made a _clang _as it bounced off the plate. Jude raised an eyebrow and poked his head out from behind the newspaper. He watched as Lucy stared down at the table, visibly shaking. "Is there a problem, Lucy," Jude stated in a monotone voice.

"W-w-why do I have to go there?! There's nothing wrong with me!" The teen began to frantically attempt at swaying her father's opinion otherwise, but he wasn't having any of it. "There's not, there's not, there's not," she repeated over and over again. Slamming his fist on the dining table, Jude narrowed his eyes. "**Lucy**," his voice boomed, "there is clearly something not right. You haven't been right since La..yla died. You will be admitted into Fairy Institution whether you like it or not." Not allowing Lucy to respond, he called in one of his maids.

Once the cleaner entered the room, Jude wasted no time giving her orders. "Pack Lucy's things. We're leaving soon." With a quick nod, the small woman scurried off upstairs to the blonde's room.

Still staring down at her plate, the girl frowned. "How...long..am I to..stay there.." Lucy wasn't going to argue with her father. Once Jude's mind is made up, there's nothing anyone could do to persuade him to change it. He folded the newspaper and placed it down on the table. "You will stay there for as long as needed, until you get those crazy images out of your head."

It was like a stab to the heart for Lucy. Crazy images? _Crazy_? There was no way she was crazy. She was normal. Normal people see things, right?

"The bags are ready, Jude-sama," the small maid from before said when she returned a few minutes later. Jude nodded his head, then waved his hand to signal he wanted her to return to her chores. "Go get ready," he commanded. "Take a shower, I can smell you from here."

The blonde stood from her chair, and nodded her head slowly while her eyes were half-lidded. She stared at the floor the entire way to the bathroom, only paying attention to the ringing in her ears.

Lucy hopped in the shower, and only did she snap back into reality when the soothing hot water became burning, which left red splotches on her pale skin. She proceeded to wash her hair with shampoo and conditioner, and scrub her skin down with soap. She shaved under her armpits, her legs, and her lower region.

"Hurry the hell up, Lucy! We're gonna be late!" her father yelled from outside the bathroom door, and Lucy immediately shut off the water.

_**[-]**_

"Get in," Jude ordered, opening the back door to his limousine for his daughter. The chauffeur nodded his head at Lucy's father before stepping in the driver's seat, and shutting the door soon after. Lucy gave her dad a weary glance before sliding in, Jude following suit.

Leaned up against the window, the blonde watched blankly as the trees and houses passed by until they were nothing but blurs. Jude eyed his daughter sternly. "Why did you have to turn out like this, Lucy?" he whispered to himself, blinking slowly. "You'll get help and you'll be better, I promise."

Since it was about a two hour car ride to Fairy Institution, Lucy had eventually fallen asleep against the tinted glass. Jude noticed she'd rarely sleep; she'd wake up with dark circles under her eyes, and they got deeper and darker as the months went on. But he just thought it was a result of the stress of school, you know, staying up late studying, an abundance of homework, drama... Turns out it was none of that. He'd got many calls from her teachers, informing him she wasn't doing most of her work_―_she'd just stare out the window most of the day. And once Lucy got home, she'd seclude herself in her room unless she had to come out for dinner or to go to the bathroom. In all honesty, Jude knew near nothing about his only child.

Looking out the window, Jude noticed the large hospital-like building coming into view. He sighed. He knew he wouldn't be seeing her again for a long while. The lady he spoke with over the phone had said visitors weren't often welcomed―that it could possibly affect the patient's recovery. He stared at his daughter and thought, _Such a spitting image of her mother. _Her mouth hung down slightly as the side of her face was scrunched against the window, and her leg twitched every now and then. Her light blonde hair was once again shiny, and it stuck out in all different directions. Had she even brushed it once it dried?

The old man behind the wheel eventually slowed to a stop in front of the structure where Lucy would be staying. "We've arrived, Jude-sama," the chauffeur called from the front of the vehicle, and Jude nodded his head. "I shall retrieve Lady Lucy's belongings, then," he said before stepping out of the limo.

"Come on, Lucy, we're here," the blonde's father called, shaking his daughter. She grumbled a few incoherent words, but eventually, her eyes fluttered open. Jude sat back, and admired the soft look on the teen's face. But, that was short lived. Her next facial features scared the shit out of him.

"G-g-get away from me!" she shrieked, eyes wide and face blanched. Jude stared at her, shocked, and unsure of what caused this outburst. "What's the matter?!" he questioned, becoming agitated. She was shaking. Why was she shaking? "Let's go, Lucy. We're here." The blonde looked out the window, and stared at the entrance for a few seconds. Jude raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to move. "_Go_," he commanded, and she shakily opened the door and stepped out.

The old man already had the blonde's luggage in hand, and he genuinely smiled at Lucy. "Ready?" he asked softly. She bit her lip, and turned around to watch her father step out of the vehicle. "Come on."

The two men walked in front of Lucy, while she trailed shortly behind. Lucy stared up at the large structure, and her palms became sweaty. She wiped them on her jeans, then ran her fingers through her tangled blonde hair. "Where's Loki?" she mumbled to herself, looking around the parking lot. "I need him right now.."_  
><em>

Whenever Lucy needed Loki, he was right there by her side. No matter what. But.. where was he now? Why wasn't he helping her?

The trio stepped through the sliding glass doors, entering the facility. Lucy got a huge whiff of hand sanitizer and Clorox. She scrunched her nose, and glued her eyes to the floor.

"Hello... My name is Jude Heartfilia and I'm here to admit my daughter, Lucy Heartfilia. I believe we spoke on the phone last night," Jude said, while they approached the front desk.

Behind the structure sat a woman with large breasts and light brown hair that was pulled back into a tight bun. Thin, white glasses rested atop her nose, and a green sweater clung to her body. Lucy watched nervously as the lady looked up from paperwork she was filling out, and looked from her to her father. "Ah, yes, hello Mister Heartfilia. Evergreen." The woman stood up, and extended her hand to shake the blonde's father's. "Thank you for coming."

The female known as _Evergreen _walked out from behind the desk, and approached Lucy. She held out her hand, and a soft smile floated across her lips. "Hi, Lucy. My name is Evergreen. It's a pleasure to meet you," she said. The blonde shook the lady's hand, while nodding. "It's a.. pleasure to meet you too."

Lucy and the chauffeur were then directed to a row of seats, for them to wait patiently while the receptionist and Jude spoke.

"Everything is all set," the blonde heard the lady say. "You know, you're extremely lucky we could get you booked so quickly. Usually, admission could take weeks."

After a few sentences Lucy couldn't hear, the middle-aged man asked, "So, what's there left to do?"

"There is nothing more you need to do, Mister Heartfilia, other than say goodbye to your daughter, and wish her a healthy recovery. We can take it from here."

"I'm not sure how I feel about this place," Lucy mumbled to herself, staring down into her lap. If they were trying to have a completely quiet conversation, it wasn't working. Lucy could hear everything they were saying, and it was making her even more nervous. She didn't want her father to leave. She didn't want to stay here.

Next, the blonde indicated the duo walking over by the _clack _of Evergreen's heels, and her father's dress shoes.

"I can take her bags," the brown-haired female said, reaching out for Lucy's belongings. The older man gave them up willingly, and stood up to stand with Jude. Lucy stood up as well, and walked so she was standing in front of her father. "Are you really going to leave me here?" she asked, raising sad eyebrows. Jude nodded his head, and cupped her cheek with his large hand. "I'll come get you when you're better, okay?" Lucy nodded, savoring this moment of her father's kindness.

"Okay then, we can take things from here. We will keep in touch with you," Evergreen said, a caring smile quirking her mouth. Jude nodded his head, removed his hand from his daughter's face, and left the building without speaking another word. Lucy watched with parted lips and dejected features. "Bye.. Dad.." she whispered, swallowing thickly afterwards.

"Lucy? This way please," the busty woman called, already standing a few feet away. The blonde didn't even notice her walk by. Quietly, she padded across the white floor, and followed Evergreen down a long, empty hallway. Only a few windows allowed sunlight and a slight breeze to pass through the corridor, but besides that, there was nothing but white.

"I will be showing you to your room first, dear. Then one of the nurses will see to that you get settled, okay?" The woman craned her neck to look at Lucy's face, and silently, she nodded, lips pursed.

Once the duo reached the end of the hallway (which seemed to go on forever), they made a right, which lead them into another long hallway. But instead of being plain, white, and empty, many rooms lined each side of the path.

"These are where our in-patient teens stay. The rooms on the first floor are generally for teens ages sixteen to eighteen." They passed room after room, and Lucy quickly glanced at each one. Around each door were different, unique paintings that the blonde found wonderful. Since Evergreen's heels clacked at a face pace across the floor, Lucy had to hurry to keep up, leaving her hardly any time to study the artwork. But what she _did _catch were glimpses of books, music notes, and flames.

"Oh," the brunette said, noticing Lucy's gaze on the artwork. "Each long-term patient is allowed to draw, sketch, paint- whatever, around the entryway of their room." She paused, reaching what Lucy presumed was the staircase. "We're going to go to the second floor now, where you will be staying." Evergreen began climbing the stairs, and Lucy followed after. "You're going to be on the second floor with teens age ranged from thirteen to fifteen. Unfortunately, there were no more rooms available with your age group. But I doubt you'll be interacting with anyone on the second floor anyways. The schedules are different for each age group," she explained, and Lucy found herself zoning out for a second. She wanted to go home. She wanted to lay in her bed with Lyra while she sang a song with her beautiful voice.

"Aaand, here we are!" They stopped in front of the first room on the left, directly next to the staircase. It seemed to be dead silent all throughout this place..

Evergreen retrieved a key from her pocket, and unlocked the door. She allowed the blonde to enter first, following directly behind her.

Truthfully.. the room was bigger than she expected. There was one large window, implanted in the wall straight ahead, which allowed her to view the lush field beyond it. She'd examine the scenery some other time. There was a twin sized bed positioned next to the wall, white and pale blue sheets folded gently atop it. A large dresser was placed next to the door, and lastly, a small desk was in the corner, with a small lamp planted on top.

Evergreen sat Lucy's bags on the cold, tiled floor, while the blonde sat on the unmade bed. "Nurse Mirajane will be with you in a moment, so please, make yourself comfortable for the time being." The tall female adjusted her glasses, and smiled at the teen. "I wish you a speedy, happy recovery, Lucy."

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi guys! This story will be a chapter fic, albeit I am unsure of exactly _how _many chapters this will contain. Before I get into anything further, I must warn you, reader, that this fanfiction will contain possibly _triggering _situations and/or actions. Please, _read at your own risk._

I apologize in advance if I make a mistake in describing/portraying a mental disorder a character is dealing with, but know that I will truly try my best to be as accurate as possible. Thank you for taking time to read this fic, and don't forget to leave a review! Thank you!

(I do not own Fairy Tail, or the characters.)


	2. Show Me

_"People are always selling the idea that people with mental illness are suffering.  
><em>_I think madness can be an escape.  
><em>_If things are not so good, you maybe want to imagine something better."  
><em>_― John Forbes Nash, Jr._

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><p><strong><em>Chapter Two<em>**

* * *

><p>Ten minutes after Evergreen left, Mirajane knocked at the door of Lucy's room. Lucy whipped her head around to see who it was, and then took the site of the nurse in. Her large breasts strained against the tight fabric of the white nursing uniform she wore, and her seemingly thick, white hair was also pulled back into a bun. "Hello, Lucy Heartfilia? May I come in?" she asked in a gentle voice, and the teen nodded her head. The soft click of flats resounded off of the empty walls of Lucy's room until Mira stopped in front of her, extending a hand and smiling.<p>

"My name is Mirajane, but everyone just calls me Mira." They shook hands. "If Evergreen hasn't already told you, I'm one of the nurses around here, but I mostly work with teens sixteen to eighteen." Lucy nodded her head, and bit her lip. Butterflies darted relentlessly inside of her stomach, making her fingers tingle out of anxiety. Lucy wasn't great at meeting new people. "May I sit?" she then asked, pointing to the bed, and Lucy nodded once more.

The nurse sat down, and crossed her legs. Opening a folder that she held, she pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Lucy. She took the paper in her hands and sat next to Mira on the bed. "What is this?" she asked, examining the sheet. It looked like a― "It's your daily schedule," Mirajane said. "Everyone has one."

_But I shouldn't be getting one. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong in this facility._

Suddenly, the nurse stood up, and Lucy followed her with her brown eyes. "Would you like me to give you a tour, Lucy?" she asked kindly, gentle eyes waiting for the blonde to answer. Lucy allowed a forced smile to come across her features. "Sure."

The duo walked back downstairs with the schedule in hand. What Lucy didn't notice the first time coming up the steps was a sign that read:

**Ages 16-18: First Floor  
><strong>**Ages 13-15: Second Floor  
>Special Containment: Third Floor<strong>

_Special Containment..? _

Lucy cleared her throat, and once they were almost back on the first floor, she asked, "Um.. Nurse..? What's on the third floor?" The white-haired woman didn't look back, but answered, "It's for patients that are either too dangerous or too unstable to be around the others." Out of natural curiosity, Lucy wondered _just what type_ of people were sheltered on that floor.

This time around, Lucy got to have a better view of the paintings around each doorway on the first floor, because the nurse was walking much slower than Evergreen had. One door was surrounded by swords―Medieval, Samurai, Ninja. But, strangely, small pieces of cake lined the door frame. "That's Erza Scarlet's room," Mira pointed out, noticing Lucy's observations. "Oh," was all Lucy replied, before they continued down the hallway.

"I'm sure you'll be meeting all of the patients in your age group tomorrow," the white-haired woman said with a cheery tone. "Great.." Lucy mumbled.

Once they got to the intersection of hallways, they continued straight, down a hallway Lucy wasn't taken to when she was first walked in. "Down here are all of the recreational rooms.. the dining hall.. the gym.. showers."

"All of the patients on the first and second floors eat together, so they're in the dining hall right now," Mirajane mentioned. The windows to their right held the same view Lucy's room had, and she stared out the glass the entire way through the hallway. The morning sun nurtured the tall, almost yellow grass of the field that swayed in the wind.

Shortly, the two females were greeted by two large doors. "This is the gym, where you will be getting exercise during your stay, obviously. You only have gym twice a week, though." Mirajane opened the door and allowed the girl to peek in and check it out. "All you'll need is shorts and sneakers, really."

Mirajane escorted Lucy to each room she'd be visiting, explaining what time she must arrive, and what time she'd be allowed to leave.

"Now, lastly," Mira said, "I'll be showing you to your counselor."

_Counselor?_

No. Lucy didn't need counseling._  
><em>

"I don't need counseling," Lucy said, urgency evident in her voice. The nurse looked behind her at Lucy, who was staring at the ground. "I'm sorry Lucy," Mira said almost as if she took pity on the girl, "but everyone here needs some sort of counseling."

They walked back down the hallway that lead to the entrance. "All therapists are down here, near the reception desk." As the females reached the end of the hallway Lucy first entered from, they took a left and was met with a shorter hallway, illuminated by almost blinding lights that hung from the ceiling. There were four closed doors, two on either side.

Mira knocked on the first door on the right. "Come in!" Lucy heard from beyond the door, and the nurse opened the door. "Hi Meredy!" Mira said happily, greeting the lady in the room. The blonde peeked out from behind the nurse, and the first thing Lucy noticed was the long, pink hair on the woman ahead.

"Oh hi Mira!" the woman said cheerfully. "I hear we have a new patient?" The white-haired nurse stepped aside, revealing Lucy.

She was meeting too many new people for comfort.

"U-uh, hi," she said quietly, slightly raising her hand as a wave. "This is Lucy," Mira said, and the woman known as Meredy smiled. "This is Meredy, Lucy. Your counselor." Meredy smiled cheekily, and folded her hands on top of her desk. "I look forward to working with you, Lucy. I hope you get settled in comfortably."

After the duo left Meredy's office, Mirajane explained that there was another female counselor, Bisca, who worked with the age group 13 through 15. The boys also had two counselors, by the names of Elfman (who was Mira's brother, and worked with the age group 13 through 15 also) and Alzack (who was Bisca's husband, and worked with teens 16 to 18).

"Let's go back to your room now, all right?" Mira suggested as they began to walk back down the long hallway. A bell rang then, twice, and Lucy looked up to the woman in question. "Oh that's just the bell to switch classes," she cleared up.

As the duo was rounding the corner, heading back to Lucy's room, she looked down the opposite hallway to witness groups of people walking down it. In front of the group, walked two boys, louder and more prominent than others.

One had pink hair, and the other had dark hair.

"Come on Lucy~, you don't want to get caught up in that group, now do you?" Mira asked once she noticed Lucy stopped. "R-right," the blonde said, and hurried off towards the staircase.

"Who's that girl down there?" the boy with pink hair asked. "Dunno. Probably a new patient," the one with dark hair answered.

"Okay, one last thing and then I'm out of your hair," Mira said once they were behind the closed door of Lucy's room. She sighed, and picked up Lucy's bags, setting them on the desk. "What are you doing?" the blonde questioned, furrowing her brows.

"I'm just checking your bags for anything that you may be able to use to harm yourself or others," she said calmly as she began to neatly place the contents of the bag on the desk. "Oh.."

After some time, Mirajane plucked Lucy's razors and a scarf from the pile. "You're allowed to use a razor when you shower, but there must be a nurse there with you in the bathroom. You can shower on any free time. Nurses will be present at the nine o'clock to eleven o'clock AM shift."

Nurse Mira left with a kindhearted smile, leaving the blonde by herself. Looking down at her schedule, Lucy looked it over again.

**Wake-up call: 7:00**

**Breakfast: 8:00-9:00**

**Free time: 9:05-11:00**

**Arts and Crafts: 11:05-12:00**

**Lunch: 12:05-1:00**

**Free time: 1:05-2:00**

**Outside Rec/Gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays: 2:05-3:00**

**Group Session: 3:05-4:00**

**Free time: 4:05****-6:00**

**Dinner: 6:05-7:00**

**Free time: 7:05-8:55**

**Curfew: 9:00**

**Lights out: 10:30**

In the bottom corner of the sheet had hand written instructions of: _Meet with counselor today at 1:00 PM. Regular sessions will be scheduled._

"So busy.." the blonde groaned, allowing the paper to slide out of her hands and travel silently to the floor. She still had four more hours before she had to meet with her counselor, but it wasn't like she could actually (or even _want _to) go to 'classes' today.

"You look awfully b_oooo_tiful today," a voice suddenly broke in. Lucy knew that voice; she smiled. "Hey Taurus," she greeted, smiling brightly while looking at her friend. The cow-like individual stood against the wall next to the window, large arms folded across his chest while supporting a grin. "I can always count on you to compliment me," she giggled, and moved the folded blankets out of the way so she could lay down.

"Do you like it here?" Taurus questioned, while he spared a glance down at his large nose ring. The blonde stared up to the white ceiling, thinking.

"I want to go home," she stated, swallowing thickly afterwards. "This isn't a place for me, you know?"

"You're m_oo_st certainly right."

It seemed that no matter how execrable a situation was, Lucy knew her friends would always be there to support her. And, they constantly were. Never once did the thought of them being inanimate cross her mind.

_Later_

"Ah! Lucy, please, come in!"

The blonde stepped past her counselor's door, shut it behind her, and took a seat in front of the desk before her. "So! Lucy." Meredy interlaced her fingers and placed them under her chin. "Are you all settled in?"

After speaking with Taurus for a few hours earlier, Lucy felt a lot more joyous. "Yep! All of my clothes are put away.. and my bed is made." The pink-haired woman smiled sincerely and nodded her head slightly. "Good, good."

"But anyways.." she began after a few moments of silence, "How do you feel about coming to Fairy Institution?..." Lucy placed her hands in her lap and bit her lip softly. "Ahhhmm.. I don't know," she said quietly, "I really don't feel like I belong here, Miss Meredy." The counselor nodded her head again. "I see.. Well, Lucy, you_ are _here for a reason, you know. But let's save that for another meeting, sound good?"

_What's there to decide another time if there's nothing wrong with me? _Lucy frowned.

"OK. So what time do you want our sessions to be? I'm free from nine to ten in the morning, and five to six in the evening." Meredy took out a blue sticky note and a black pen and awaited the blonde's answer. "Umm.." She tapped her index finger to her chin and answered, "How about from five to six?" The woman jotted down the times, tore of the note, and handed it to Lucy. "Works for me!" she said with a smile.

"Will you shut the fuck up!" the duo heard a male voice shout from right outside the door. Lucy jumped, startled, while the pinkette simply shook her head. The person who yelled clearly stomped off, with a loud grunt and incoherent mumbles.

"Sorry about that," the woman said, "That's one of the patients here. His name is Gajeel; I'm sure you'll be meeting him sometime tomorrow." Lucy's brows raised. She didn't _want _to meet that guy. Meredy seemed to notice the amount of hesitance on the teen's face. "Oh you really shouldn't have to worry about Gajeel having another outburst... I'm sorry but I can't say much more. Not allowed to give out patient information to other patients!" Meredy laughed nervously for a few seconds, and Lucy nodded her head. "Oh, no, it's okay.."

After a few more minutes of idle chat, Meredy said Lucy could leave.

"Ah, Lucy?" the pinkette called once Lucy's hand was on the doornob. "If you don't want dinner tonight, you don't have to have any." The blonde nodded her head with a thankful smile on her face. "Thank you Miss Meredy." And with that, she walked out of the counselor's office and returned to her room.

Lucy was going to head to the bathroom later, and take a nice and hot, long shower.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thanks for the reviews! You're all so kind.


	3. Meet Me

_"When you are mad, mad like this, you don't know it._  
><em>Reality is what you see. When what you see shifts, departing from anyone else's reality, it's still reality to you."<br>__― Marya Hornbacher_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter Three<em>**

* * *

><p>Over the loudspeaker, two bells rang, causing Lucy to jolt awake. After they were over, she set her head back down on the single pillow, and groaned. Despite having a whole other hour before she had to be at breakfast, seven in the morning was <em>way<em> too damn early to be conscious. Even when she had school, she only had to get up at eight to be ready by the time the bus came.

But what the hell was she to do for an hour? Get dressed, and then what? God, it was just too untimely to think.

Lucy swung her slim legs over the side of her bed and held her hand to her lips as she yawned. "Might as well get ready.." she whispered, eyes still half-lidded and heavy. The strap of her pale yellow nightgown hung loosely off her shoulder, but the blonde made no attempt to fix it. "You don't need to get ready, Princess. You look beautiful simply the way you are," a voice complimented.

"Ah, good morning Loki," she greeted tiredly, waving her hand in his direction. The man was standing near the door, and he moved his black shades down his nose. "What do 'ya say we get out of here and go have a little fun in the town?" he offered, a sly smirk on his face. Lucy retrieved a brush from her bag and began detangling her tresses, seemingly unfazed by his proposition. "You know I can't leave," she sighed, to which the orange-haired man pursed his lips and grumbled, "Oh yeah.. that's right."

The blonde clothed herself in baggy grey sweatpants and a tight short-sleeve yellow t-shirt. It was close to eight, Loki still hasn't left, and she needed to head to the bathroom.

Shit.

She'd have to pass _all of those rooms _to get to the restrooms. What if the other patients were out? What if they tried to _interact _with her all at once? No, she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. "Lucy," Loki called, snapping her away from her frantic thoughts. "Y-yeah..?" she wondered, apprehension scraping against the walls of her veins. "It'll be fine, I promise." The man pushed himself off the wall and nodded his head at the door. "C'mon, I'll walk with you the entire way."

The blonde smiled. "Really?" If he was there with her, yes, she could do it. Confidence bubbled up within her, causing her chocolaty brown eyes to light up. "Of course," Loki reassured, and stepped aside so she could reach the door nob. "Let's go-"

She swung open the door, only to be greeted by an unknown woman. "Oh, um, good morning," she greeted. The large-chested girl's smile slowly faded, and she stepped back one step, turning her head to the left, in hopes of seeing Loki. He wasn't there anymore.

"I'm just here to give you your pills... umm... Lucy, was it?" Lucy nodded her head and pursed her lips. The woman before her had short white hair and large sea blue eyes; they almost looked teal. "My name is Lisanna, by the way. I'm a nurse here.. but I just pass out the medication." She giggled and smiled genuinely, and the blonde averted her gaze.

"My pills?" she then questioned. No one told her anything about having.. to take.. pills.. "Ah, yes." The woman known as Lisanna turned around briefly and Lucy noticed there was a cart waiting behind her. Was there even an elevator in this hospital? She turned back around, holding a small white paper cup that ketchup was normally squeezed into for dipping fries in. Lisanna held it out towards the blonde, smiling sympathetically. "You need to swallow these."

Lucy grabbed the cup from the nurse before her, and looked down into the cup. "Um... Do you expect me to swallow these without water?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at the three large pills filling the bottom. The nurse before her shook her head knowingly, and took a step back. "You can go down to the restroom to use the faucet if you'd like." The white-haired woman began walking away down the hall, stopping at the next room over. She winked, "Just don't go flushing them, 'kay? Promise?" Lucy nodded her head.

Lisanna knew that she probably would flush them, being it only her second day in the facility and even though she didn't ask, she could tell by the way Lucy was hesitant, she didn't think she belonged here. If she did, so be it. One of the most important ideals of Fairy Institution was gaining and holding trust. The more trust you acquired, the more freedom you'd be granted.

Damn, now Lucy had to rush. The bell to the first activity would be ringing soon, so she made a dash for the stairs once Nurse Lisanna began interacting with the patient next door. Once the blonde was at the top of the second floor, she spotted the orange-haired man again.

"Loki!" she scolded in a hushed tone. "Where were you?! Why did you just disappear?" Loki crossed his arms over his tuxedo and smirked. "Sorry 'hun. Duty calls, ya'know?" Lucy scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Come on, I have to get to the bathroom before I have to be at breakfast." She began travelling down the many steps towards the first floor, her heart beating rapidly against her rib cage. Loki's heavy steps filled her ears, along with the whistling that echoed from his lips.

Once the girl stepped down onto the floor, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her male friend placed a reassuring hand onto her shoulder and said, "Quit stressin' out, Lucy. It'll be fine." She nodded her head and smiled up at the tall man. "Yeah.. I guess you're right."

She stepped down into the hallway and... it was completely empty. _What the? Where was everyone?_

"Huh.. Guess no one's home," Loki said, a small chuckle following afterwards. Lucy continued silently down the hallway; the soft clack of her shoes and the insistent ones of Loki's filled the empty air. "Guess you're right," she murmured.

_Yes__! _the girl mentally cheered, making it to the restrooms without coming in contact with anyone. It was.. strange, really, for absolutely _no one _to be walking around even though the day would be starting soon. But, Lucy did mind much. At least there wasn't anybody that would attempt at speaking with her.

"You can't come in, Loki," Lucy warned, pushing open the bathroom door, pills in palm. "But whyy not?" he whined, pouting his bottom lip. The blonde rolled her eyes and nodded towards the female on the door. "_Women's _bathroom!"

She pushed through the door, leaving behind the sulking man. Jeez, did he really need to follow her _everywhere_?

"Who were you talking to?"

Eh?

Lucy's eyes grew in size while the person before her eyed her suspiciously. "There's no one by the name of.. Loki in this hospital," she stated, drying her hands with a paper towel. The girl had long, scarlet hair, and it was pulled back in a pony. The blonde was astounded. It was so... stunning.

Snapping out of her roaming thoughts, Lucy looked to the tiled floor and moved past the female. Along the way, out of her peripheral vision, she noticed strange red and pink markings across the person's wrist. But, her view was cut short due to the girl pulling down her long-sleeved navy blue shirt.

"He's my friend," she said quietly, walking towards the stalls of toilets. She tried to hide the cup of pills, but apparently, the redhead caught a glimpse of them. "You really shouldn't flush those," she said softly, throwing away the used towel. Lucy released a shaky breath, and before closing the stall door, she said, "It really isn't any of your business."

_Later_

Lucy felt as if she was going to have a heart attack. There were _so many people_. Even though she secluded herself to a corner of the hall, the blonde discerned everyone's eyes on her. Even the lunch ladies―er, lunch _men _seemed to hand over strange gazes. Maybe it was just her imagination.

Hell, why did she decide to sit _facing_ the entire population, instead of _against_ it?

Her palm cradled her chin as she lazily poked into the rubber sausage that was smothered in syrup. This breakfast... sucked. It was like she was eating the shitty school food, but, she was hungry, so it'd have to do. Lucy sighed hopelessly; she really coveted for her father's maid's cooking right now.

The blonde was about to take a bite out of the maple sausage when she noticed someone walking in her direction. He had pink hair... pink hair... pink hair! This was the guy she saw the day before! But oh shit, the guy she saw the day before was pulling out a chair at her table.

"Hey," he greeted. Lucy put down her fork after allowing the meat to linger on her bottom lip for a moment. Shit, her pulse was battering against her skin. "Uh, hi," she responded, fixing a piece of shiny blonde hair behind her ear, and licking the sweetness off her lip. For a second, the only thing that stood out was his pink hair. So vibrant..

When he said, "Are you a new patient? I haven't seen you around before," Lucy's attention was drawn down to his face. He held a confident smile and sincere eyes. Why? Wasn't he supposed to be some kind of psychotic? Maybe that's how all psychopaths were... Pleasant on the outside, but malignant on the inside..

"Yeah," the blonde said simply, adjusting herself uncomfortably in her seat. "Oh, sorry, I didn't even introduce myself!" He chuckled and ran a hand through his pink locks, brushing his bangs out of his face. _Damn_. "Name's Natsu Dragneel," he said, placing his elbows on the table, leaning forwards. He grinned, which caused Lucy to blush. "L..Lucy Heartfilia," she responded, forcing a smile.

"Look, I can tell how anxious you are." He paused. "It's radiating off of you like, uh," he coughed, almost as if he didn't want to finish his sentence, "_heat_. But you really shouldn't worry all that much.. This facility is great." The large-chested girl nodded her head and looked down into her plate, mentally pleading for him to go away.

"How old are you?" the pinkette asked, and Lucy fought every urge to roll her eyes and tell him to leave her alone. "I'm seventeen," she answered, and his face lit up. "Oh! Really? Me too! Looks like we'll be in the same activities together, huh?" Natsu was grinning so large and so happily. Why? "Yeah.. I guess so."

Natsu suddenly stood up from his chair and pointed to a large group of people at a different table. "You see those guys over there?" He glanced from Lucy, to the group, to her again, and continued, "We're all gonna be in Arts and Crafts together in a few hours." Lucy raised her brows at the teen in front of her. "I'll introduce you then, all right? They're really great, you'll love 'em. Bye Luce!"

He didn't even give the blonde a chance to reply before he was running off towards his friends. Lucy watched as a few of them glanced in her direction with smiles on their faces before turning back to converse with Natsu.

Lucy sighed, vexed. This was going to be one hell of a day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hi everyone, sorry for the late and short update! I didn't want to cram Lucy's entire day into one chapter, because then it would have probably been around 5,000 words, and I wanted to get out the next chapter as soon as possible for you guys.

As always, if you could leave me your thoughts, I'd truly appreciate it!


	4. Introduce Me

_"It was that sort of sleep in which you wake every hour and think to yourself that you have not been sleeping at all;  
><em>_you can remember dreams that are like reflections, daytime thinking slightly warped."  
><em>_― Kim Stanley Robinson_

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><p><strong><em>Chapter Four<em>**

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><p>Natsu's never seen someone run so fast at the sound of the bell.<p>

"Damn," he muttered to himself as he witness the blonde chick sprint her way out of the double doors before anyone else could even get close to exiting. He shrugged his shoulders. The pinkette didn't know what she was in the facility for, or why, but he was more than eager to find out.

By the time Lucy returned to the safety of her room, she was panting and her heart had crawled into her throat. "Is there something the matter, Princess?" The blonde pushed off from leaning against the door, and staggered over to her bed, plopping down onto her back. "Those people... Those people... They were all trying to attack me... I could feel it.." she explained, staring up towards the ceiling.

"Virgo?" the girl called, chest still rising and falling at an unsteady pace. "Why were they going to hurt me?" Lucy's friend leaned over her, blocking her view of the whiteness above. The shackles around her wrists clanked, resting atop her sock-covered knees. "All of the people here are crazy.. It's only natural."

The patient stared up into Virgo's almost lifeless blue eyes, seemingly becoming lost. "Is that true?" she wondered, breathing finally becoming even. "Yes." Lucy watched as the woman straightened her back and fixed a thick, pink lock of hair behind her ear and walk towards the window. "And if I am wrong, you may punish me, Princess. I actually encourage you to do so, regardless the circumstance."

"I'll think about it," Lucy said plainly, beginning to zone out of reality. But one thing.. one thing..

What the hell kind of pills was that nurse trying to make her swallow?

_**[-]**_

Surprisingly, the blonde was the first one in the art room; the teacher wasn't even present yet. She chose a table that was directly in front of the door to sit at, so she pulled out a stool, and sat.

"I could give you a stylish cut while you wait ..ebi." The sound of snapping scissors lingered around Lucy's ears, and she rolled her eyes. "Cancer!" she warned in a hushed tone, "If you don't get out of here soon, they'll all see you!"

"Who are we gonna see?"

The blonde jumped once a pair of large hands clamped down onto her shoulders, someone speaking directly next to her face. "G-get off of me!" she screeched, closing her eyes and flailing her arms briefly. Natsu immediately backed away slightly, bumping into someone, her outburst causing his shit-eating grin fading. "Natsu, watch it," a male voice scolded, and the pinkette furrowed his brows, disregarding the warning. He took a hesitant step forward, saying, "Lucy..? I didn't mean to scare 'ya.. Sorry." The girl seated at the wooden table was wringing her left wrist, hanging her head down, inhaling shakily.

"N-n..no, Cancer, I'm fine, fine," she whispered faintly. "_Cancer_?" Natsu mumbled to himself. Before he was able to investigate further, a hand wrapped around his tricep. "Natsu, let's go." The male looked to his right to acknowledge his red-haired friend. "Erza..?" He searched her eyes to see if _she _had any answers, but instead she moved him along, directing them towards a table where a boy with dark hair was seated. _  
><em>

It was a good thing their teacher wasn't in the room yet.

"Do you know why she's in here?" Natsu asked Erza, quietly. She shook her head, but said, "She came into the bathroom this morning, talking to someone named Loki or something.." The redhead paused, pulling at the edges of her sleeves. "The girl flushed her pills." That statement caused the dark-haired patient to click his tongue, and shake his head disapprovingly. "She should know better.."

"Well what do you expect, Gray? She's new. We all did the same thing when we first came here," Erza pointed out, which caused Gray to purse his lips. It was true. He'd never admit it, but he still occasionally flushes his pills. "Yeah... Well you're right."

Lucy wanted to run away. Run out of this room, out of this hospital, out of this town. Who's bright fucking idea was it to make her be around all of these new, _emphasize_ **_new_**, people? When she was around the kids in her class, she was fine. She'd grown up with them, and even got to know a few, but _now_, she was uncomfortable and nervous.

The room she was in was steadily began to fill, which caused her to become even more anxious than she already was... especially thanks to that _Natsu_ guy. Did he think it was funny or something to scare people he's hardly met? Now, Lucy felt another pair of faint hands rub her shoulders soothingly. "We're here, don't worry." The female still hung her head low, but she murmured, "Thanks Loki," and took a single deep breath. She could do this. She could get through the day.

"Okay everyone! Settle down now, please." The blonde saw a flash of white pass by her eyes, so curiously, she looked up. An overweight man with a ginger brown afro walked across the room, his white shirt taut against his flesh, and Lucy cringed slightly. "Should lose some weight, yeah?" the orange-haired man whispered in her ear, and the lone girl fought back a giggle; she settled with a quick nod.

"So I hear we have a new patient?" Immediately, all eyes were on her. There was a soft squeeze to her shoulder, and hesitantly, Lucy raised her hand slowly. "Oh!" he exclaimed cheerily, and walked over to her table, holding out his hand. "I am your art teacher, Reedus." She pursed her lips and shook his hand, then quietly, she introduced herself.

"Before we get into anything today, Lucy, you haven't painted the walls around your door yet, have you?" Lucy shook her head and bit the inside of her bottom lip. "Okay, just give me a second." Reedus then looked to the class, and announced, "You'll be working on your scenery paintings today in class. Gajeel, make sure you're actually _working_ on it this time. Natsu, you too."

_Gajeel?_

Cautiously, Lucy turned her head in the direction her teacher was speaking. At a table in the back corner sat Natsu, that girl from the bathroom, and others; she recognized most of them from breakfast. There was a female with large brown eyes, similar to her own, but bursting with curiosity and care. She was smiling kindly at Lucy, and quickly, the blonde averted her gaze back to Reedus.

"She looks cute ...ebi." The female snuck a quick glance towards the man in red, and rolled her eyes playfully. "I guess so," she mumbled.

"Lucy? If you would follow me?"

With paint in one hand and brushes in the opposite, Reedus was lead by Lucy back up to her room. Once in front of the door, the art teacher set the tools down on the tiled floor, and stood back. "Well, that's that. You can paint whatever you'd like, just keep it generally appropriate. If you're not done by the time the bell rings, you can either continue working on it through lunch, or you can work on it tomorrow during class."

"Okay," the blonde agreed, and her teacher walked off. Lucy sat on the floor, listening to the simple nothingness of the still air. A sigh came from next to her, a heavy, feminine sigh, and a small smile quirked the blonde's dark eyes. "Hi Aquarius. Haven't seen you in a while." The woman leaning against the frame of the double doors to her right flipped her long,_ ocean-in-the-sunlight_ blue hair over shoulder, and clicked her tongue. "I've been on dates with my boyfriend, something you wouldn't know about."

Lucy giggled softly, and titled her head. "How's Scorpio doing, anyway?" Aquarius narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms over her chest. "He's doing just _fine_, and that's all you need to know," she spat quickly, but the girl on the floor paid no heed to her natural coldness. "What should I paint, Aquarius?"

"_Tch_. How am I supposed to know?" The bluenette paused, adjusting the bikini top that clung for dear life around her neck and back. "Draw the sky or somethin'. You like that stuff don't you?" Lucy nodded her head, and stared at the whiteness before her for a few seconds. "Good... idea..."

After a few moments of Lucy just sitting there, Aquarius said impatiently, "_Well_? Aren't you going to _start_? I don't have all day, you know." The girl blinked, and looked up to the half-naked woman. "..Ah, yeah."

By the time the large-chested female was finished painting, the lunch bell had been well past rung and creativity was seeping through her pores. Her water-loving friend left quite some time ago, stating that she had an urgent date to get to, and Lucy simply waved her off as a goodbye so she could concentrate.

It seemed as if this was the first time the girl could actually focus on something for an extended amount of time without being distracted, and for that, the blonde was grateful to her own mind.

Standing up to view her progress, Lucy put a hand that was covered in dry paint on her hip and scanned her eyes around her work. "Hey Lucy!" a familiar voice, belonging to Natsu, greeted, steps growing closer. She frowned, almost disdainful, due to his lack of _leaving her alone_. "..Hi," she responded, and quickly began to pack away the crafts, perfunctorily coming to the conclusion she was finished with the task.

"Woah... That looks awesome!" Lucy noticed his staring out of the corner of her brown orbs, and she kept her head low. "Th...thanks." The pink-haired patient chuckled in amazement, "I had no idea you could paint this good! You may be the best in our class, Luce."

"You persistent bastard, why can't you just leave me the fuck alone? Can't you see I'm perfectly _fine_ with all of my friends here? I don't need any more than I already have."

Now, that's what Lucy would have _liked_ to say, if she was incredibly haughty, but instead, she was more diffident. So, she settled with a breathy sigh of gratitude, and stood up, tools and used paint cradled within her pale arms. "Here, I'll carry that for you." Natsu reached his arms outwards, intending to retrieve the items occupied by Lucy's grasp. She eyed him blankly, then warily, before allowing him to take the things away from her, and into his own arms.

"Come on," he insisted, "I'll walk with you down to the art room." The blonde began to follow him, and why exactly? Why was she following him? Why did this person give off such a calm vibe for being utterly psychotic? She'd have to be careful around this one. Lucy was sure he could attack at any given moment.

"Shouldn't you be in lunch?" she inquired, watching his right foot step ahead of his left foot, then repeat in the opposite manner. "Well I didn't see 'ya in the dining hall, so I'd thought I'd come lookin' for you." Lucy simply nodded a minute later, not heeding to the fact that he couldn't see it. "That night sky you drew was really something. I like it a lot," he complimented, as they walked down the long hallway, leading towards the art room. "Mm'thanks."

When the duo arrived at the room vacant of patients, Natsu walked in and set the tools down. Reedus was no longer in the room either, so the boy plainly walked back out, only to observe the view of the female's retreating back. "H-hey!" He jogged to catch up with her, to which she responded by immediately put distant between them horizontally.

"Sorry I didn't introduce 'ya to the gang earlier.. I would've but you seemed kinda freaked out, so I decided not to."

This boy just didn't know how to take a hint.

Lucy focused her gaze at the stairway down at the other side of the hallway, completely blocking out the noisy chatter of the male's deep voice. Before she reached the stairs though, she foolishly glanced at him, and again, her ears were invaded by unwanted sounds, but this time, it was a proposal. "If you come'ta gym, I'll definitely introduce you to everyone."

_If _she went? She most certainly didn't have a choice in the matter.

The girl held a sidelong stare, keeping her lips pursed and eyelids relaxed. Without any warning, she continued up the stairs, leaving Natsu to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "O...kay then... See you in an hour!"

Interesting, this environment was. Lucy's never had this kind of contact with other people before, and frankly, she really wasn't taking a liking it it.

**_[-]_**

Shockingly, the girl in the yellow shirt managed to successfully make it to the gym, despite zoning out on the way down. "S..sorry," she mumbled upon bumping into someone, and that person stumbled backwards. Lucy realized she had bumped into the scarlet-haired patient, and behind her stood Natsu and others. She took a hesitant step back, eyes slightly wide.

They were all standing around the closed doors of the gymnasium, and the loud jumbled noise of their conversations slowly died down. Before she was able to comprehend the situation, all eyes were on her, and the redhead was clutching her upper arm, trying to look calm. "Hey!" Lucy's eyes fell upon the pink-haired boy, and she watched as he jogged a few steps to stand next to her. Natsu slung his arm around her shoulder, which made her wince as if he was going to.. going to..

"Shit," the female who was holding her arm hissed, and immediately ran passed the duo. Natsu furrowed his eyebrows in perturbation, having an idea of what just occurred. He shook his head, sighing. "This is Lucy Heartfilia," he introduced, flashing a broad grin that was bursting with newfound joy. "She's a new patient." Lucy scanned her eyes across the numerous faces in front of her, each one seeming to pass in a blur. She couldn't exactly focus her vision, but she could tell they each had a smile tugging on their lips.

"That was Erza Scarlet, the one who ran off." _Erza huh..._

"Gray Fullbuster." He pointed to the tall boy with dark, almost blue hair, then to a tall guy with a tall stature and broad shoulders. "That's Gajeel Redfox."

"Levy McGarden."

"Juvia Lockser."

Lucy's lips parted, intending for her voice to trail off of her tongue, but nothing came out. She heard giggling and shot her eyes to the ground, finding it more interesting than the blobs of colors before her. Voices trailed to her ears, announcing such things as, "It's nice to meet you," and, "Welcome."

The arm around her shoulders unwrapped itself, and the blonde found a presence directly in front of her. "Hi, I'm Levy." Lucy lifted her brown eyes, to meet with an opposite pair that screamed kindness and compassion. She almost gagged.

"Hey."

The girl's hair was a sweet blue that framed her narrow face, the gentle waves flowing onto her shoulders. "You're going to love it here, I promise," she said earnestly, despite smiling sympathetically. "It's always rough the first few weeks, but I'm sure you'll settle nicely."

"..yeah."

The blonde knew common courtesy. She knew not to stare, not to ask embarrassing or personal questions in public, and to not judge a person's disposition. And she was trying her best, she was but... she's just never seen someone so bone thin.

"Especially since you'll be hangin' with us!" Natsu added, causing Lucy to jump at his sudden exclamation.

The gym teachers, who came to be known as Laxus Dreyar and Elfman Strauss, allowed Lucy to sit out due to the fact that it was only her second day. She was notably grateful for this, because _holy shit_. She wasn't sure if she was spectating a team friendly game of football where the boys solely played while the female's stood off to the side, or a rough get together between teenage guys in a desperate need to burn off steam in the most physical way possible.

Barring Erza. She hadn't come to gym.

"Get in the game, girls!" the blond man with the scar above his right eye constantly reminded, and by the end of the class, Lucy was sure that Coach and Counselor Strauss had an obsession with _one_, men, or _two_, all things manly.

Next was group therapy.

The only one who seemed honest about explaining the experience was Gajeel. "It's fuckin' boring and a waste of time," he'd said, which caused the skinny bluenette to hit him across his arm. It was weak, Lucy could tell, but Levy scolded the raven-haired man regardless.

They all sat in folding chairs which were arranged in a circle, a woman with deep plum-colored hair and large hips seated at the head. Natsu sat to the left of Lucy, and Levy occupied the seat to her right.

"How is everyone doing today?" the lady asked, fixing the black dress that modestly complimented her body, crossing her legs that were dressed in stockings. "Good," a majority answered, but the patient whose face was studded grumbled, "Shitty." The woman either didn't hear Gajeel or chose to ignore him, because her attention then focused on Lucy.

"Lucy Heartfilia, yes?" The blonde nodded her head, far from buoyant. "Well first, welcome to Fairy Institution." The woman smiled kindly, idly tapping the pen in between her fingers on the pad of paper resting atop her lap. "So," she sighed in exuberance, "My name is Ultear, and I run the group counseling session. We meet every day, and this is just..." she scanned the floor, searching for the words to say, "a place for you to feel comfortable with absolutely anything, really." The counselor nodded her head, her short bangs bouncing softly against the forehead. "We don't discuss our problems every time, but we do once or twice a week."

The blonde didn't bother acknowledging the woman before her, for she was staring past her, watching Plue and Pyxis playfully chase each other around the room.

"Puun pun~!"

"P-icaw!"

Lucy let out a string of giggles once her white, shaky friend tripped over the leg of a table that was residing against the corner of the room, and fell. Pyxis jumped on top of the table, flapping his wings energetically, an amused look morphing his beak.

Natsu leaned over and whispered, "What's so funny?" He followed her gaze, seeing nothing that would even remotely trigger his laughter in the slightest. For the first time, the blonde smiled properly and answered, "They're fooling around over there." Counselor Ultear watched Lucy carefully, reading the duo's lips skillfully. She scribbled a few notes on her pad, and looked over to the scarlet-haired patient. She was watching Lucy interact with Natsu through the corner of her eyes, features impassive.

The dark-haired woman was definitely looking forward to further working with this group.

The group session eventually (and thankfully) came to an end rather quickly, and so, Lucy headed back up to her room. Before entering though, she examined her painting for a brief second. She shrugged, feeling content with the full moon and small white stars that were surrounded by an array of dark blues and black.

Soon, dinner rolled around, and from beyond her door, she could hear herself being summoned by Natsu. The blonde continued to stare blankly up at her ceiling, not bothering to bat an eye at his request.

"Luuucy.. Come on, please?" When he didn't hear a response, _yet again_, he sighed. "You're gonna get in trouble if they find out you're not eating."

"He's starting to get annoying, don't you think?" Loki asked, and he looked to the other individuals in the small room. Virgo sat at the foot of Lucy's bed, and nodded. "Yes. That boy has been bothering you, has he not, Princess?" Lucy hummed in response, hardly paying attention to their accusations. "You're being cautious around these people, right? Moo," Taurus added. "M'nm."

"...Okay, I'm gonna go to dinner now!" Natsu paused, pursing his lips for a few seconds. "Everyone's lookin' forward to getting to know you.." His voice trailed off, "I'll see 'ya t'morrow."

Hours and hours passed, but it seemed only minutes to Lucy's mind. Her friends came and left periodically, and the chats they carried generally went unnoticed by the blonde laying in bed. It was almost as if she was in a daze, and before she knew it, in was two in the morning and the whiteness of the rock in the sky was shining brightly through her window.

Lucy turned over, and her stomach painfully churned, loudly begging to be fed. "Get some sleep, Princess," a voice said in her ear, concern lingering in the air, and the female's eyes fluttered shut.

She didn't have the energy to keep up with this schedule or to deal with the people. Truthfully.. she thought it'd be better to disappear.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Forgive me for the delayed update! I've been anime binging on the weekends, so I haven't had much time to write.

Any thoughts? Questions? Suggestions? Do you guys prefer I write longer chapters like this one, or keep it a bit shorter? If you'd review, that'd be wonderful! _Thanks!_

Lastly, just to let you all know, paranoia is a key part of Lucy's disorder.


	5. Scold Me

_"There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don't fit into their box are weird. But I'll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance."  
>― C. JoyBell C.<br>_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter Five<em>**

* * *

><p>When you become used to not getting enough sleep, you forget the feeling of your eyes becoming so heavy it was as if lead was weighing them down. Lucy's eyes felt light, despite her mind screaming for her to get some rest. She poked absentmindedly at the wheat pancakes that soaked up the incredible amount of syrup she poured atop it. Seriously, didn't this place have <em>any <em>junk food? She wanted mint ice cream, a cinnamon bun, brownies, chips, a donut, _anything _with sugar that'd make her taste buds leap with euphoria.

She was _yearning_ for it. This sugar free syrup made her want to renounce her breakfast.

"If you don't eat your breakfast, I'm gonna eat it for 'ya," Natsu teased, shoveling a spoon full of fruit into his mouth afterwards. Much to her dismay... he and his friends had come over to her table. She protested and protested, but they sat down regardless of her commands. Levy, Gajeel, Natsu, and Erza came to her table, leaving that Juvia girl with some patient with wavy brown hair and intimidating dark eyes.

"Why do I have to eat if Levy won't?" All eyes shot to the blonde, and she snapped her lips shut. "What? Did you say something wrong, Princess?" Loki asked, tilting his head. He was standing behind Gajeel, who was across from her. The pinkette raised his eyebrows, while Gajeel narrowed his eyes, Erza's lips slightly parting at the same time. Lucy turned her face a tad so she was able to view Levy's, and the petite girl was staring down into her lap, a frown creasing the skin between her brows. "I.. I... um.." The bluenette couldn't find―no, _didn't know_ the right words to say. She wasn't one to be completely open with her illness, notwithstanding the fact that if someone were to simply glance at her, they would instantly be able to tell something wasn't right.

"Just tell the skinny bitch to eat," Aquarius cut in, crossing her arms over her large chest. Lucy began to bounce her knee and stare up at Loki for answers. "Should I?" she asked him, and the patient with pitch black hair turned around. There was no one behind or above him so.. who was she talking to? "Should you what?" he curiously asked, eyeing the blonde's blank face.

"Let's not worry about this anymore, 'kay?" Gajeel's attention turned to Natsu, and the pink-haired teen widened his eyes as if to say,_ 'let's just drop this matter right now, before it gets out of hand'_. The man settled back into his chair, looking over to watch Levy scratch her extremely prominent collar bone, and then she met his harsh eyes; a small smile pulled her lips for a split-second. The blue-haired girl had this effect on him that caused him to become tranquil. He didn't mind.. he loved it, actually. Levy didn't specifically know it, but her ability to be cordial was helping him greatly with his own recovery.

Gajeel just wished he had the same effect on her.

Instead, every other word out of his mouth was a curse, every other feature a glare, and every other reaction an outburst. He was sure that, if anything, his existence and their friendship was a burden to her frail body and well-being. Levy was just so.. altruistic, it made him want to scream at her to think about her _goddamn_ self for once. But maybe she actually was. You don't just become that thin because you've been thinking of others too much, right?

It's been a week. One week since being admitted, seven days since her father left her to suffer in the clutches of these people, one hundred and sixty-eight hours of being trapped underneath this roof. Lucy hasn't been taking pills, oh, no, there was no way she was swallowing them. Virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini, _all of them_, warned her that if she took those pills, they'd never be able to see each other again. She couldn't risk that, hell no. She'd rather die than go a day without their support at a minute's notice, so, she simply settled for lying to the nurse and her counselor.

Erza was in the bathroom nearly every day when the blonde ventured inside to do her routine of using the toilet and flushing the capsules afterwards. The look of unwavering understanding the scarlet-haired teen gave Lucy almost every time their eyes met made her stomach churn in the most uncomfortable of ways. Her features almost looked ominous, but that didn't stop Lucy.

She was meeting with her counselor again today at one. It took a while but, Lucy was actually starting to like participating in gym and outdoor activities. It helped her burn off steam with the boys, but she didn't end up exhausted like the rest did; she was always ready for more recreation time.

"My friends say you should eat mo-"

Gajeel slammed his fist on the table, causing the individuals seated around it to become startled, and Natsu to smear the grease from his sausage across his cheek. "Dammit," he muttered, before the boy with black hair yelled, "That's fucking enough!" cutting Lucy off. The blonde immediately recoiled, face morphing from incredible confusion mixed with ignorance. She looked to Loki, silently pleading for him to help her out. He shrugged his shoulders and casually adjusted his tie, stating, "Not my problem anymore. Sorry, Lucy."

"Gajeel, it's okay," the bluenette said, voice just above a whisper, and she quickly stood up, grabbing her tray of food that's hardly been touched. "Please thank your friends for worrying about me." The girl then scurried off to dump her food, and Gajeel scowled. "Now look what 'ya fuckin' did!" Lucy scanned her eyes frantically across the table, furrowing her brows. "Did I?" she mumbled, "Did I?"

Luckily, the bell rang. Natsu turned his lip up at the short-tempered teen, stood, and gently grabbed Lucy by the elbow to instruct her to move. "Let's go." Without protest, she stood up as well, features suddenly returning to their natural blankness.

Regardless of the bell announcing their dismissal, Gajeel and Erza remained at the table. He was clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white, and his nails carved shallow crescent moons into his palms. "Calm down, Gajeel. Calm down." She paused. "You don't want to make Levy worry again, do you?" The male shot his menacing eyes in Erza's direction and clenched his teeth. He's always had a problem with being able to control his anger.

"If she keeps talkin' like that about 'er, we're going to have problems," he said through his teeth. Erza rested her chin in her palm, looking almost lazily towards the boy. "You know what's wrong with Lucy, don't you? It's like she doesn't know better." Gajeel took a deep breath, calming his fuming nerves just enough to have a _decent_ conversation.

"_No_ Erza, I don't know what's wrong with her. Just because she's messed up doesn't mean she can go disrespectin' other patients." The scarlet-haired teenager sighed, standing up from the chair. "Go see if Levy's okay, would you? I'm sure she needs it," she said as she walked off, holding her hand up in a noiseless goodbye.

"Yeah, and Erza?" he called after her, now, the duo being the only ones in the hall. "Hm?" She twisted her body so she could see him over her shoulder, and he held eye contact for a few long moments. "I thought you stopped."

The female looked to the ground, then continued to walk towards the double doors. "Me too."

**_[-]_**

It was kind of a ritualistic thing at this point.. really. Gajeel would go to Levy's room any chance he'd get during their break to chat with her and occasionally, they'd talk about their progression and what they'd wish to do after they were discharged. The bluenette spoke with such enthusiasm and hope, but.. Gajeel didn't see her leaving any time soon. She still refused to eat properly.

Her entire situation was verily scary, and the muscular patient found himself thinking of Levy's welfare more often than not. He cared for her, but he'd never really expressed it the way a genuine friend would. It was maybe a few glances that were a little too long, or a nudge or rub that would encourage her. Gajeel wanted to show her how much he wanted her to get better, to become healthy, and not so deathly-lookin', but he simply didn't know how to approach her about it. She was sensitive about the subject, and if you tugged at the wrong string, she'd completely shut you out for a while. He knew that from experience.

Gajeel's anger rose to the surface all too quickly, and Levy knew to tread lightly. He's only lashed out at her once―she'll never forget it―and it had to be one of the scariest things she's ever faced. The way his voice rose with rage and his fists balled in ire frightened her half to death, despite the girl already being there. The teen told her stories about how much worse he used be when he was living at home with his pops, and she couldn't even imagine (not that she'd _want _to) the sheer force of his fury when one of his episodes would burst out of control like a solar flare.

He could be terrifying, she was aware. Levy's witnessed a few of his worse times, but that was when they hardly knew each other like they do now. Back then, she kept as much distant as she possibly could manage, that is, well, until he admitted she was cute, and that sparked their friendship. It bemused her at first, because _at that time_, she was literally teetering on the thin tightrope that separated life and death.

Levy was laying on her bed with her knees tucked to her chest while she faced the wall when Gajeel entered her room. His conspicuous footsteps announced he was there, and the girl didn't need to look to know who it was. "I've been thinking," she started, and Gajeel sat at the edge of her bed. He placed his hands in his lap and relaxed his shoulders, a quiet sigh blowing past his lips. "Will I ever get better?" she wondered, and the shifting of the sheets beneath him indicated she was tightening her fist around them. "You won't unless you try."

"I _have _been trying, Gajeel." Levy paused, voice growing softer. "It's just so difficult.. that sometimes.. I think I don't want to get better." Her long-haired friend shot her an extremely disapproving look, and she saw it out of the corner of her eye. "That's not a very good mindset," he mumbled, and Levy's shoulders shook as she heaved out a single sarcastic chuckle. "Tell me about it," she joked._  
><em>

_Later_

"I don't wanna sit next to you," Lucy said quickly, sliding her stool away from Natsu's, causing harsh noise to fill the room. "Well why not?" He pouted, puffing his cheeks out long enough so the blonde caught sight of him, and she rolled her eyes. "My friends don't like you very much," she explained, "They tell me not to talk to you, nope." Natsu sighed, and teased, "So if your _friends _told you to jump off the roof, would you do it?"

The amount of time it took for Lucy to answer made Natsu's heart leap uncomfortably. "Mmm.. depends." He raised his eyebrows. "That's a pretty high jump, ya'mmknow?" The blonde tilted her head to the side as she continued to sketch the background of her painting. "They have good judgement."

"If their judgement puts you in danger... I don't think they're very nice friends.."

Natsu couldn't see Lucy's friends. Natsu couldn't understand her delusions or her paranoia. He respected her regardless of her inability to rationalize and decipher reality from fantasy. She sure was fun to mess around with, though, when it didn't turn into her screaming for him to get away from her, as if he was a murderer out to harvest vials of her blood.

"Loki... Loki doesn't think you're a very nice friend, Natsu," she said, tracing the tip of her pencil in a way that would mark where a mountain would be on the paper. "Why not?" he asked, almost hurt. He wondered just how much influence her '_friends_' had on her actual decisions. "Because you're psycho."

_Psycho_. The one word no one in this institution wanted to hear, ever. It dug through his heart like a jagged knife deformed expecially for the ability of destroying the organ. His once playful expression slowly vanished, and he clenched his teeth. Natsu now understood why Gajeel was so angry earlier over her seemingly simple comments.

The pinkette stood up and grabbed his supplies, and began to walk away from the girl. He turned his head back and warned, "You should really watch what you say unless you want everyone to hate you." The busty female didn't lift her head up or even acknowledge his departure, but her once stolid features quickly turned down into a frown.

What? She didn't mean to be innocuous. Lucy was just going off of what her friend's opinion was. Loki was never wrong; he was always right.

It didn't matter how bored Lucy was, she refused go to lunch, yet again. Natsu didn't come try to persuade today, and she couldn't help but stare helplessly at her closed door. Her stomach growled intensely, acting as if it were a lion snarling. She's lost weight.. she could tell but... oh well.

Aquarius complimented her on her figure, so Lucy didn't see anything wrong with losing a few pounds.

Levy placed her tray down on the table and pulled out a chair in between Gajeel and Juvia. Gajeel sent her a knowing stare, and she breathed out a greeting. He leaned over and whispered, "You good?" while Juvia fawned over Gray. Levy sat her chin in her palm, and tilted her head so her brown eyes met his. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said, showing off a small smile. "It's not like she knows anyway, right?" Gajeel nodded his head, and took another large bite of his veggie wrap.

The blue-haired girl anxiously ran her tongue along the back of her bottom teeth, and stared down into her own wrap. It had lettuce and chicken and tomatoes in it.. and it looked delicious, it really did, but it made Levy's stomach clench in denial. There was no way she'd be able to eat that.

"Juvia believes in you," she heard, and she looked to the girl beside her. Juvia's brightness reached her eyes, and she continued on to say, "You don't have to eat all of it. Just a little slice is enough, really. You can do it." Levy sighed, and nodded her head, the organ in her chest beating rapidly. She tore a piece away from the whole, and moved it slowly up to her mouth.

_I need to get better I need to get better I need to get better. _

Her counselor told her to not think about what she's eating so that her mind won't run off in five different directions, in which each gave her a definite reason not to chew, swallow, and digest that food.

But that was the hardest part. How many calories is this? How much weight would she put on if she ate her entire lunch? What if she eats this tiny little thing, and becomes bloated because of it? Where will the fat go? To her thighs? Her waist? She couldn't afford that―none of it.

"Just eat that tiny bit, Lev," Gajeel said sweetly in her ear, and without anyone else noticing, he began to rub the small of her back. He could feel her spine, the dryness of her skin, and his thoughts clouded with sorrow. She looked too gaunt to neglect intervention.

Levy squeezed her eyes shut and popped the food into her mouth, chewing quickly, and she felt her body tremble briefly. The ball of mashed food journeyed down her throat, and the bluenette could feel it painfully, having not completely crushed it. It settled in the pit of her stomach, and her hands shook slightly. "Juvia's proud of you," Juvia announced, beaming with delight. The petite girl gave her tacit agreement by taking a deep breath and pushing her tray away from herself.

"You'll beat anorexia, promise, P-ah, I mean, Levy," Gajeel said softly, and the female next to him stared down into her lap, a gentle smile caressing her cheeks.

He used to call her Pip and Short Stack, or even Tiny. She didn't take a liking to those nicknames, and eventually, she had snapped, and yelled at him with so much loathing he didn't think was possible for someone so small. Levy'd said that it reminded her too much of how fucked up her body was. He doesn't call her by anything but her name anymore.

"So, Cana," Natsu's voice cut through to Levy's ears, and she shot her head up, to witness her good friend sitting down at the table. "Why weren't you here yesterday?" The brunette flipped her hair behind her shoulder, and rested her cheek atop her crossed arms that relaxed on the table. "I was feelin' pretty shitty, so I had a friend do me a favor."

Everyone knew what that so called _favor _was. Somehow, someway―Levy really didn't really fancy to know―Cana received alcohol from an outside source. How that was possible? Neither patient had a clue. This place was pretty guarded and sealed, and _that_, the bluenette would know from experience.

**_[-]_**

Lucy walked down to Counselor Meredy's office, entered, and sat in front of her desk. "Hi Lucy. How are you doing today?" Meredy straightened her back and dragged a bang behind her ear. "Okay," she answered, staring to the side of her, looking to Aries as the timid girl apologized over and over. "Stop saying you're sorry," Lucy chuckled, shaking her head, "There's nothing for you to be sorry _about_." The pink-haired social worker watched Lucy carefully, and jotted down some notes she'd review at a later time.

"Who's there, Lucy?"

"_No_, Aries, I told you to stop apologizing."

"Lucy?" the woman pressed louder.

The blonde has conversed with hallucinations named Loki, Virgo, Aries, and Pisces in the time her and Meredy have spent together. Each conversation has been on different levels of intelligence and sense, and the pinkette has tried to have an insight with this patient, but she couldn't, strangely. The counselor didn't know, honestly; she'd have to do more research about the type of schizophrenia Lucy's mind has been abiding to endure.

When the blonde seemed to have paused her meaningless discussion, Meredy questioned, "When was the last time you've taken a shower, dear?" She responded with, "Last ...week, yeah, last week," and the woman cringed. "Oh, Lucy, no, you need to take a shower daily!" Meredy could practically smell her from where she was sitting. When was the last time the girl even shaved?

"You'll be taking one later tonight, okay Lucy? I'll make sure there's a nurse there so that you can shave too." She paused. "You can do that, can't you?" The blonde's lips were parted in a vacuous stare, but she nodded her head in response. "Good."

_Later_

Lucy has grown to find group counseling nugatory, so during the fifty-five minutes she had to be present, zoning out had become her best friend (even though they already were). It was only rare that she'd be drawn back into actuality, and when she _did_, she found it hard to block out the kids' voices and return to her own thoughts afterwards.

"Good afternoon everyone," Ultear greeted as she sat down at the chair she sat in every day. "Good afternoon," a few of the patients replied, while the others continued to idly chat with their friends. "Guys, listen up please."

Once the room quieted down, the woman announced, "Today, we're going to go around and say one thing that we're feeling bothered by. But, you can't just say nothing; you have to admit at least _something_." Lucy rolled her eyes. "Okay everyone? Sound good?" Counselor Ultear looked around the group of teens to see a few nods and a not-so-discreet scowl from the boy with long black hair.

Cana began first. "How the bitches here don't know how to let a girl sleep." The brunette was rewarded with a few chuckles, and a nudge of credit from Gajeel. He was next.

"I have a problem with how some people don't know when to be fuckin' respectful." He sent a long glare over to Lucy, who wasn't even paying attention. Seriously, who does that girl think she is?

Ultear made a note of this:_ Lucy Heartfilia is possibly engaging in disrespectful actions towards the other patients. Observe closely._

Next was Natsu. "We should get bigger portions," he said, while nodding, and the buff Gajeel nodded his head in agreement. He noticed Levy scrape her teeth across her lip.

Then was Gray, but he mumbled, "That I'm not allowed to not wear a shirt around the facility." The counselor heard him loud and clear, and she shook her head. Juvia was after the dark-haired boy.

"Juvia is bothered by the amount of freedom we do not have."

Levy. "The portions are too big," she said, timorously, afraid of the potential looks that may be shot her way.

Lucy.

. . .

Lucy?

"Lucy, it's your turn."

"What?" Ultear tapped the tip of her pen against her thigh. "Please share with us one thing your bothered by."

"Bothered by... bothered by.." the blonde murmured, pursing her lips and staring to the ground. "I .. don't know." The dark-haired woman sighed and nodded her head quickly, saying, "Okay, that's fine, next." She new what was wrong with Lucy, so she understood her level of comprehension.

Lastly was Erza. "Hmm.." she hummed, "Probably the lack of sweets in this place, mhm." Natsu allowed his lids to slide halfway while he stared at his large-chested friend, his lips slightly parted. How did he just _know_ she was going to say something like that?

Lucy's consciousness came to an abrupt end shortly after, when she leaned her elbow on her thigh and her cheek on her fist. Natsu woke her up when the bell rang.

**_[-]_**

Showers weren't her favorite. She didn't take an immense amount of pleasure from the warm, soothing water as most females did, she didn't like the way the temperature made her scars rise and adjust color, and most of all, she didn't like being bare and open to whatever eyes decided to trail her body, even her own.

Erza wasn't in the least bit proud of the markings on her skin, but she was unusually satisfied with them. She contradicted herself, in the reality of it all. She couldn't stop, even with the incredible amount of counseling she sustained (because _yes_, she was suffering through it, but she didn't allow those emotions to surface during meetings). Erza has one of the best counselors she's ever had, but _really_, the woman was trying to almost _coerce_ her into stop harming herself.

That just wasn't going to happen.

The redhead had too many pent-up emotions and frustrations and skeletons that were bellowing to be released and thrown out into the open to stop taking sharp objects to her mutilated skin. She plainly thought it was better to keep them locked tightly behind a vault made of steel than to share them, to allow herself to be utterly, pathetically vulnerable in front of studying eyes.

This was her release, and she'd be damned if she'd allow a simple middle-aged woman make her ingest pills and counsel her until she recovered.

The female patient was walking through the bathroom, towel dangling around her neck, leading towards the shower stalls. The pads of her fingers habitually caressed over the bulges of the fibrous connective tissue that littered her wrist, but once they ventured higher, they traced over scab after scab.

She hasn't been here for long―two months at most, two months of taking antidepressants and other pills, numbing her to the core until she felt like she was a walking corpse. Those pills still didn't make her thoughts about committing suicide be any less frequent or in depth.

At this moment, though, Erza was glad that Lucy stepped through the door to the restroom with a nurse _after _she was blasting the hot water down onto her pale skin behind closed doors, shielding the amount of torment she caused herself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Wow! I can't believe I've written _so much _in just a few days. I've just had so much inspiration (ninety-eight percent of it coming from all of you, so you have my dearest thanks) that I couldn't put down my laptop. Also, my ideas have just been pouring out of me lately, so that's an added bonus to all of this.

To swallowmysoul (since you have your private messaging off): I hope this chapter cleared up things for you! I actually _wasn't _planning to have Happy be featured in this story, but if you could shoot me an idea, I'd be willing to consider it.


	6. Find Me

_"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."  
><em>_― J.K. Rowling_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter Six<em>**

* * *

><p>Lucy's been sitting alone. She ate alone, she painted alone, and she ran alone. She was used to it... the isolation. The kids back at school hardly talked to her, but she could occasionally hear their whispers. But the patients here, they didn't whisper. They didn't send glares or quick glances in her direction. They simply acted as if she didn't exist.<p>

Maybe... they were correct about that, though. The candid beat of her heart reminded her that blood and oxygen was being carried around her body but the state of her _mind_ being alive read a completely different scenario.

The days went on as they usually would, but she was losing her appetite and her drive (even though beforehand, it was already pretty minimal) to get through the hours, quickly. It was like someone cut a hole into her body, placed a spout in its place, and was draining her energy rapidly.

_Loneliness_.. the word that was all too familiar with the blonde. It was a noun: sadness because one has no friends or company. Despite Taurus and Scorpio and all the others being around, she almost _missed_ the frequent contact the other patients had with her, disregarding of her protests. Lucy appreciated the gentle, kind words her friends shared, but they seemed nearly out of comprehension. Like they were too far away, too far out of reach for her to wrap her grip around those sentences and drag them into her heart. It was like they were so far up into the sky, that only on a clear night she'd be able to understand their true meaning. And those days, they were seldom.

But lately.. lately, their words haven't been so congenial and endearing. It was scaring her, the things they said, whispered convincingly into her ears, suffocating ice seemingly frozen to their shared thoughts. Lucy was listening to them; their voices were definitely emphatic. They brought reality to her eyes about the other patients in hushed tones, warning her, pleading with her to be cautious.

The blonde didn't tell her counselor the things that have been circulating throughout her head.

**_[-]_**

It was only until Natsu witnessed the blonde on the very edge of the roof that he realized just how corrupting those voices were.

At first, when something high above him caught his attention, he simply thought it was a bird, so he glanced up. But, birds didn't have long blonde hair that blew intensly in the wind or wear sweatpants or.. have arms for that plain matter. He took a double take, this time, focusing his eyes on the person high above. It was Lucy.

Natsu stopped in the middle of the ardent soccer game that was happening behind him. "Lucy," he breathlessly whispered, mouth hanging open and obsidian eyes wide. Was this really happening? Was she going to jump? To jump. **Jump**. _No_. There was nothing but cement and hard earth that would crush her skull or splinter her neck or shatter her spine or... or―!

Her foot slipped. His heart leaped into his throat, digging its rough fingers into the slippery flesh to hold onto, for in fear of sliding back down into the darkness. "Lucy!" he croaked out, stepping forward while reaching out his hand, as if it held the strength to balance the world in its palm. But, her hands were strongly laced in between the fence behind her so roughly, her body lunged forward.

Natsu's forehead was throbbing with consternation, and he swallowed thickly, almost as if he was trying to consume an entire bottle of glue. By now, he caught the attention of Erza and Gajeel. "What're you doing?" Erza called, and then, she followed his gaze upwards. Her heart assumed its job was to be paused, and her lips split apart. What was happening?

Natsu faltered, "We.. we.." He was so scared in that moment, his body petrified itself. If she were to jump.. if she.. she'd land..

"Coach Dreyar!" the scarlet-haired patient's voice boomed, causing all eyes to snap over to her. She'd rather be cursed to the relentless grasp of Satan himself than to let _anything_ happen to a hair on that damn girl's head. But.. at that same moment, Erza _execrated_ Lucy for being in that position. To be free to make any decision she wanted to, because one thing she's known from experience is, no matter _what_ you may say, the person at the other end of the line ultimately decides whether they themselves live or die.

Erza's always had a watchful eyes taking note.

"They look so small, don't they Princess?" Virgo commented, perching herself on the tall fence. Lucy looked down, watching as heads began to turn up in her direction. "I'm sorry! They'll probably be up here soon!" Aries added, standing against the opposite side of the wire netting, clutching her hand above her breast. "Make sure you keep balance," said Libra, sitting on the edge of the roof, holding scales out in front of herself.

The blonde trailed each patient as they ran inside, followed closely by the two older men. Natsu stayed behind though, and she could see the utterly panicked look harboring his features; she smiled, strangely pleased. Then, he yelled, "Lucy! Stay right there! Don't move!" and dashed inside.

"Maybe you'll lose your balance before they reach you," Libra said, lifting her right hand to inspect the scale that was dangling from her fingers. Her long green skirt flowed in harmony with the wind, brushing against Lucy's bare feet. "Maybe," she replied, as she swung her right leg back and forth. It was calming; she was calm.

"We shouldn't have come up here! I'm sorry!" A single chuckle shook Lucy's shoulders. "It's okay, Aries. Look! Pyxis is having so much fun." The blonde watched as the cheerful bird flew in contrast with the air, struggling. Even with the comical event taking place in the sky, Lucy felt sad. It was almost a depressing feeling that weighed on her eyelids and slumped her shoulders. It almost made her want to... loosen the grip she had on the fence.

She heard her name being yelled, but not by the echoing voices of her friends. It was vehement, masculine, and frantic. "Lucy!" She and Virgo, Aries, and Libra turned their heads in the direction from which the sound came, and Virgo sighed. "It's him again, Princess. You may want to get as far away from him as possible." Lucy turned back around, and stared out to the parking lot ahead.

As Natsu drew closer, his nerves pricked more intensely with uneasiness. How did Lucy even manage to get up here? The door was always locked, Laxus told him, and even _Natsu_ didn't know there was a way to get up here, and he's been here for quite some time now.

What frightened him the most was if she spoke with any of the patients on the third floor.

"Stay back," the pinkette commanded, turning to look at the group behind him. "You're going to scare her if all of you approach her. Let me handle it." Levy's brows furrowed. "No, Natsu.. Are you sure? We should get one of the counselors up here and-"

"_No_. You and I both know that Lucy won't listen to Meredy." Laxus took a step forward. "Natsu, we need to get her counselor up here before we do anything," he said, but Erza spoke up as well. "_Coach_, Natsu is the only one Lucy seems to pay attention to. Anyone else she ignores."

Natsu knew that. He knew that she's been secretly following him around like a lost puppy since they've been acquainted, but he guessed it was his own fault for allowing that to happen. In this moment, it was an encumbrance. If he were to screw up, and she ended up...

He turned back around and shook his head, wanting desperately to clear his pessimistic thoughts. He _wasn't_ going to allow her to do anything stupid. When he reached her, she was speaking.

"Well then what do you want me to do?" she asked, her head turned to the left, looking down to the spot next to her. "But if that happens, then Father won't be able to see me anymore." She paused. "I guess not."

"Lucy?" he called out, cautiously, and she simply moved her eyes in his direction. "Hi Natsu." He stayed a few feet away from where she stood, and again, swallowed thickly. "Hey." He hesitated, "Are you.. okay?" She returned her gaze straight ahead and sighed. "Yeah. 'S'mthin' wrong?" The boy took another step forward, watching her carefully. "Well... I'm worried about you."

"He's incredibly annoying, Princess."

"He really is, I'm sorry!"

"He's going to knock you off balance."

The noise.. the noise.. it was _too_ much! She released her hold from the fence, and Natsu jerked forward, but she simply clamped her hands over her ears, shaking her head. "I need it to stop, please, just for a second," she whimpered, and Aries latched her fingers onto the fence. "I'm sorry, Princess! I am!"

"Hey, Lucy listen to me, okay?" Natsu pleaded, and the blonde pressed harder down onto her ears, attempting desperately to muffle the sounds. "Can you climb back over the fence?" She shook her head. "_Don't_," the pink-haired maid said, voice hard.

Now that he actually though about it.. How in the hell _did_ she?

The wind was picking up speed, which meant Natsu had to try harder. "Luce. Do you care about me?" His voice broke past her fingers and the whistling of the breeze. "Your balance, Lucy. Think about your _balance_." She nodded her head. "You don't want to see me sad, right?" She nodded her head. "Who are you fooling, Princess? I'm sorry!"

"Then I need you to climb back over the fence, and we can sit together at dinner later, okay? I might even snag you a chocolate bar from the kitchen if I get a chance."

"Don't listen to him, Princess," Virgo warned, swinging her legs back and forth, the chains around her wrists meddling with the wire. Tears clouded Lucy's eyesight, and she felt bile rise in her throat. "He's going to _burn_ you, I'm sorry. Anything he interacts with gets burned." Her breathing quickened, and the voices bombarded her with so much force she thought they may burst her eardrums.

Lucy felt like she was going to throw up. The internal war she was in the midst of was unlike anything she's ever had to deal with. Her heart was beating too fast for comfort, the whispers became too jumbled and disoriented for her to comprehend, and her lungs demanded for the air that could not be found. She was _terrified_.

"Natsu!" she screeched, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut. "Make it stop! Make_ them stop_!" Natsu cursed under his breath, and walked up to the fence. "Hey, hey, focus on me," he whispered gently, slowly snaking his hands through the fence. "Is it okay if I touch you?" he asked, vigilant, and the blonde inhaled a loud, shaky breath. "Please, please," she begged, and Natsu was so, _so_ thankful that the holes in the wiring were large enough to fit a majority of his arms through. Carefully, he wrapped his hands around Lucy's waist, and brought her tightly against the fence. "Have your friends been telling you to jump?" A nod. "Do you want to listen to them, or me?" A gust of wind forced their hair to wrought to the side, and Natsu almost missed her answer. "Can you climb back over the fence?"

While the duo were interacting, Meredy came bursting through the door to the roof. "What's going on?!" she frantically asked, walking quickly towards Lucy and Natsu. Laxus grabbed her arm though, holding her back. "Don't. You could make things worse." The woman appeared taken back at the blond's statement, and furrowed her brows, as if she'd been slapped across the face. "Are _you_ unstable, Coach? Lucy is clearly having a _severe_ **psychotic** episode, and needs someone other than another patient conversing with her!"

The pink-haired counselor quickly shut up, once she witnessed Lucy climbing back over the structure.

_Later_

"Has Lucy Heartfilia been taking her medication?"

"No."

Erza stared into her lap as she was questioned by Counselor Meredy.

"How do you know this?"

"...I've watched her flush the pills every day."

"And why didn't you stop her?"

"I... I wasn't going to dig my nose into someone else's business, ma'am."

"If you would have _reported_ her, Erza, this entire scene could have been completely avoided. You've obstructed the recovering of one of my patients, and I don't take lightly to that fact."

The crimson-haired patient closed her eyes and released a shaky breath. "I know.. I'm sorry."

After Lucy had climbed off of the fence, the first thing she did was burst into tears, and Natsu had wrapped his arms around her. She cried into his chest, which soon turned into hysterical laughter. He had eventually calmed her down through hushed, warm promises, that overcame the overwhelming force that fought acutely to consume her sanity. And for the first time in a _long_ while, she didn't let go of the person that comforted her.

Now, the blonde was sleeping in Natsu's bed, while the remaining teens crowded around the doorway.

"Shh!" the pinkette warned, nodding over to the body resting under his sheets. "Is she okay?" Levy asked sheepishly, peering around the wood and eyeing the girl. Natsu shrugged, floundering for an accurate response. "I guess so.. She's just.. really shaken up." Gajeel crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. "Erza shoulda fuckin' said somethin' about Lucy not takin' those pills." Cana slurred, "Well wh'attaya g'na do?"

"I thought her '_friends_' were super nice and shit? Why all of a sudden is she freakin' out?" the raven-haired man asked, watching Lucy's face twitch in her sleep. "Jeez. How am _I_ supposed to know?" Natsu sighed, and ran a hand through his pink locks. "I know as much about her disorder as you do." Gajeel raised an eyebrow. "_You're_ the one who's closest to 'er. Maybe she told you somethin', I don't know."

"_Told_ me something? She hasn't told me _anythi_―"

"You should let her get some rest, guys. I'm sure Lucy won't want to wake up to a bunch of rambling teenagers," Erza said, approaching her friends. The urge to cut coursed through her veins, causing her stomach to spike in fraught. This whole situation was simply too much for her to handle at the moment.

"Well. Then Juvia is going to go take a shower. When Lucy wakes up, tell her I'm looking forward to speaking with her again!" The busty bluenette began walking in the opposite direction of the others, but she turned back and winked at Gray. The boy shuddered. "So damn creepy.." he muttered, eyeing her retreating figure. Levy and Gajeel decided to go to the arcade room, which was located next to the art room, while Cana headed off to her room to sleep off her dizziness. That left Erza, Natsu, and Gray standing in the doorway.

Gray whispered, "Didn't she say she was talkin' to one of the guys in Special Containment?" Natsu nodded his head, his heart journeying into the depths of his stomach. "Fuck, really? ... Do you think it was Rogue?" Lucy stirred in her sleep, and the pinkette observed her for second. "Probably. I mean.. who else is as manipulating as he is?" He paused. "It doesn't help that she can't fuckin' determine right from wrong either."

"But how did she get the door _open_?" Erza cut in, frowning and crossing her arms. "That door was locked."

_The next day_

"Can you tell me what Virgo said to you?"

No response.

"How did you get the door open?"

No response.

"Why haven't you been taking your medication?"

Again, no response. Meredy sighed. "You know, Lucy, it looks like you've lost some weight. Have you been eating well?"

No response. The woman rubbed her chin in between her index finger and thumb, watching the female stare up to the ceiling.

There was so much Meredy needed to find out, but the information was restricted, due to Lucy's inability to cooperate properly. She had to figure out what ultimately triggered her to develop schizophrenia, if Lucy's 'friends' were actually foes, just what type of things her mind conjured up, and _so_ _many_ other things. It was frustrating, not being able to converse normally with a patient. But, despite that fact, Meredy was going to persevere. She was going to help this child regardless of how excruciatingly hard the task perchance will be.

Meredy sighed, resigned. She _was_ a woman of patience, after all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I'm sorry if this chapter completely sucked. I'm not so proud of it, like I am with my previous chapters, so I may or may not majorly edit this. So, leave me your thoughts on it, and I will decide what my actions will be according to your desires.

On the other hand, I have literally gotten nothing but positive feedback from all of you so, thank you _so much_ everyone! Your reviews bring a smile to my face!

I know most of you are eager to figure out just exactly what the other characters are dealing with, but please, _be tolerant for a little while longer_. I promise, all will be explained soon!


	7. See Me

_"There is something I have learned since being paralyzed, and that is that in the absence of sensory information, the imagination always tends to the grotesque."  
>― Patrick McGrath<br>_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter Seven<em>**

* * *

><p>"So you said you were frightened, correct?" Counselor Alzack pursed his lips, looking to Natsu for his response. The boy nodded his head, frowning into his lap. "Mhm. I was really... afraid she was going to jump." He sighed, and watched as his counselor's pen shook as its blue ink trailed curved lines across the paper beneath it. "Have you come to like Lucy? Do you consider her a friend?"<p>

Did Natsu consider her a friend? Or was she just someone to look after? No, he didn't think that. He enjoyed spending time with her, a lot actually. But _while_ being with her, he kept his eye fixed on her actions more often than not. It was only natural, really.

He wanted to protect her, wanted to shield her from the harrowing voices that clouded her sanity.

"Yeah. I like Lucy a lot." He paused. "She's really nice." Alzack raised his eyebrows, and asked, "Oh, is she? I haven't met her yet, so I wouldn't know.. She seems like a nice girl."

Natsu's counselor could be incredibly awkward sometimes, and, this was one of those times. It made the pinkette laugh. "What's so funny?" the older man asked, turning his lips down. Did he do something that would make Natsu chortle? He _was_ being serious. "It's nothin', Couns." Alzack cleared his throat, and tapped his pen on his knee. "So how has the medication been working? How are you feeling?"

The patient sighed, and fought against himself to not roll his eyes and scoff. "It's going good," he lied, a convincing smile pulling at his mouth. How _could_ he be 'good'? Natsu was too fucked up to even _consider_ thinking about being remotely okay. How could a mere sixteen-year-old carry the burden he has to carry, and still have rectitude? Sometimes, his thoughts threatened to engulf his being.

But.. he wasn't going to tell the man that just yet. He wasn't ready.

Natsu's usual thoughts consisted of Lucy, fire, his parents, and his pet cat, Happy.

Fire, sparks, flame, _an inferno_. The pinkette loved it, the warmth, the way the fire cracked and licked the air ever so gently, breathing in the oxygen, feeding greedily on the chemical element. He was fond of the way the bright yellow mixed harmoniously with the calming orange and the trail of smoke that fluttered from the flame's grasp. Natsu sometimes felt pleasure from the way the fire made his skin feel torrid. He's even got a few scars here and there from accidents while dealing with blazes.

Alzack asked, "How do you feel about... what happened?" The boy sighed and slid down so his head lolled against the back of his chair. "I don't know." This damn counselor always asked the same _damn_ question, it seemed. "Well Natsu, don't you think talking about how it makes you feel will not only lift a load off your chest, but help you immensely with your recovery?"

Maybe he didn't want to recover. Maybe Natsu _liked_ setting things on fire and burning his skin. The heat made him feel calm.

"I guess," he answered. "But I don't want to talk about it." The pinkette looked to his counselor through half-lidded, bored eyes, and raised his eyebrows. "Are we done here, Couns? I wanna get back to Lucy."

**_[-]_**

Lucy was no longer allowed to go to the bathroom to take her pills. Nurse Lisanna now had to bring up a cup of water, and watch the blonde as she swallowed her anti-psychotic meds. It was an inconvenience, but the short-haired woman didn't mind, as long as the blonde was able to recover without any complications. She was disappointed, though, albeit she _did_ expect as much from the patient. It's what every patient did eventually, really. Some were just more discreet about it than others, and some were incredible actors.

However, Lucy was neither of those.

"Good.. How do you feel, Lucy?" the nurse asked, once the blonde opened her mouth and showed her that she indeed swallowed her medication. "Fine," she answered simply, and Lisanna nodded her head. "Have a good day," she said, smiling brightly as if dealing with Lucy wasn't a burden. She could see it in the woman's eyes.

"You are such a _hindrance_," Aquarius spat, once the room's door was shut. "Don't listen to that woman, Princess." The familiar pounding in her brain hammered away at the sides of Lucy's skull, and she downcast her eyes. These horrid headaches only began recently, and every time they occurred, her thoughts seemed to become more disoriented, so bad to the point where she feigned intense fatigue and requested to remain in her room for the day.

Weren't these pills supposed to be 'helping' her? Whatever that _help_ supposedly was..

Lucy walked past Aquarius and Loki, crawled under her sheets, and stared to the wall besides her. She concentrated on the harsh thumping against her forehead, and relaxed her eyes. She wanted desperately to sleep, but no matter how much she implored for the darkness to replace the light, it wouldn't oblige. Plus, her friends seemed to be a little _too_ chatty today..

"I thought we told you not to take those pills."

"She's right, Princess. Why are you continuously disobeying us?"

"If you're not with us anymore, who's going to distribute punishment?"

"That medication is so poisonous, I'm sorry!"

"Your disobedience doesn't make you very bea_ooo_tiful!"

A tear scurried away from the corner of Lucy's eye, falling quietly onto the pillow beneath her head. "Shut up!" the girl screamed, her dry throat causing her voice to become hoarse. "Shut up shut up shut up!"

"Maybe you should go talk to the boy on the third floor again?"

"He knows all the right answers."

"You had the perfect opportunity to lose your balance, but you blew it."

"You should've jumped."

"Lu-" Natsu recoiled his hand from knocking at her door once yelling beyond it became more obtrusive. "How did she..?" he mumbled, the constant command to _shut_ _up_ shouting clearly in his ears. "Lucy?!" he questioned, furrowing his brows in consternation. She was sobbing now. Why was she sobbing? "I'm.. I'm coming in! Please excuse me!"

The male patient walked into Lucy's room to find her in fetal position, sheets wrapped tightly around her body, hands covering her ears and lips parted as she sobs wracked her shoulders. "Hey..!" he exclaimed, before dashing over and cautiously touching her waist. "Lucy, hey, what's wrong?"

Lucy immediately looked to him, her brows forming a crease as acute as Natsu's. Heavy tears washed down the blonde's cheeks, and her lip quivered; she whimpered, "Na-tsu-u..!" before sitting up and flinging her arms around his neck. His eyes widened at her sudden movements, but he wrapped his arms tightly around her body, squeezing her to himself.

"Wh-y are they.. they s-o _mean_?!" she cried, and Natsu could tell she was biting her lip. "I don't u-understand!" The boy ran his hand down Lucy's hair, and hushed her until she calmed down some.

"What are they telling you?" he gently asked, resting his cheek against her ear. Lucy sniffled, and balled a fist against his back.

"Don't tell him.."

"He won't care.. I'm sorry."

"_No one_ will care.."

"Don't you dare explain, Princess.."

"I.. don't want to.. talk about it." The vibrations of her soft voice sounded against his flesh, and he closed his eyes. "I understand."

After some time, he asked, "Are you going to listen to them?"

She didn't answer.

**_[-]_**

"Juvia, could you please sit somewhere else?" Gray asked, eyeing the blue-haired girl through the corners of his eyes. She crossed her arms over the table, and watched as Gajeel shoveled a spoon full of beans into his mouth. "Why, Gray-sama?" she inquired, turning her head so she could view him. Gray sighed. "Because I don't want to sit next to you," he blurted, and Juvia frowned, but nodded her head slowly and stood up. "You'll come along eventually, I'm sure; Levy-chan, could you switch spots with me?"

The feeble female agreed, slid her tray over to Juvia's former spot, and exchanged seats. "You know she doesn't mean any harm, right? You really don't have to be so rude to her.." Levy whispered to Gray. After biting into his roast beef sandwich, he said, "I know, I know.. it's just creepy being around her sometimes."

Juvia set her chin in her palm, and rested her fingers against her ear. Did they think she couldn't hear them? Sure, the dining hall was loud, but that didn't mean she was deaf or couldn't read lips. Was she creepy? Was she really that unpleasant to be around? Who was he to talk, though? He's the one who was constantly declaring his love for her by the manner in which his eyes meet hers and the way he drags his tongue across his lip in her direction―

"Juv," Gajeel called, noticing her breathing picking up. Her once closed eyes slowly opened to meet his piercing vermilion irises. "What?" she breathed, lazily looking to him. "You good?" She placed her forehead to the table and nodded.

Lucy was watching this with curiosity, ignoring the whispers of her friends from beside her ears. She wanted to find out what disorder everyone had but didn't know exactly how to approach them. For one thing, she knew not to blatantly ask. Now, she knew better. Maybe she could ask Natsu...

"Hey," she whispered, nudging the boy next to her. He was about to take a bite of his cheeseburger, but brought it away from his mouth and raised his eyebrows. "Could I talk to you.. after lunch?" Natsu nodded his head, and offered, "Should I come to your room during break?" and she nodded her head.

When the bell rang, Natsu stayed behind. He had said was going to be a little late because he needed to talk to one of the lunch men, Macao, but as for why? He didn't specify.

When the fire alarm went off, though, she had a sense of feeling that he had lied to her.

_Later_

This type of thing happened quite often at Natsu's home, that is, when he had one. The scent of the cloudy, dense smoke that invaded his lungs, the alarm ringing throughout the vicinity, the sirens sounding in the distance until they became so loud it was as if he was standing right underneath them, the dashing of the men and women in uniform, and his coughs. The pounding in his chest. The disquiet that swallowed him.

It was all a rush, a type of feeling that he welcomed―invited, even. He could never get enough. He didn't want to.

But when reality set in and he climbed down from his immense high, it felt as if a ton of iron was being compressed against his chest and his lungs were aflame. The back of his throat and the corner of his eyes burned, and more often than not, parts of his skin were tingling and throbbing, which meant the fire had made contact with his skin.

Sometimes even, he wouldn't remember what happened. Sometimes he'd wake up on the ground or in an ambulance or the hospital, surrounded by individuals he didn't recognize, calling his name or calling out to others or placing cold things to his body. Sometimes, his vision would take much longer than normal to focus, whether it be to look upon the thick mixture of particles or the scintillating lights above.

This time, when he looked up, Natsu thought he was in a dream. This wasn't a scenario he could have ever pictured: A normally spacey blonde, hovering above him, her cold tears splashing down onto his cheeks. Her lips were moving, she was talking, but he couldn't hear her. His ears were ringing with such magnitude, that it blocked out any other sound from disturbing his ears.

His arm, his hip, his thigh, they hurt. His heartbeat was slow, his lungs ached. He could feel her hands on his chest and the way her fingers curled against his shirt. He wanted to lift his hand and cup her cheek, so she'd just stop those damn waterworks, but his arm was immobile. He wanted to move it, to at least twitch his joints, but they wouldn't budge. He didn't know why, and before panic could set in, the darkness that scratched against his brain made its way to his eyes, and stole away his consciousness.

_**[-]**_

Natsu was asleep in the hospital for three days, and on the fifth, he was allowed to return to Fairy Institution. The events that previously took place were still incredibly hazy within the boy's mind, so he was informed of them a few hours after stepping into his room.

He had caused an explosion within the kitchen's oven, which led to the second degree burn on his hip. Lucy hadn't gotten far from the dining hall before a loud crash sounded from the room, so after the ear-splitting horn of the alarm announced itself, she dashed back into the dining hall. There was smoke trailing out from the kitchen, and realization had hit the blonde like a bus.

_Natsu was probably in there._

Since it was so cloudy, it took Lucy a few agonizing minutes of watery eyes and a foreboding thump in her chest to find Natsu, laying on the ground, closed ripped and features painted blank. For such a situation, it looked as if he was in bliss.

Now, the pink-haired boy sat down at the end of Lucy's bed, hands placed in his lap. The blonde sat her back against the wall, legs cradled to her chest and face buried in her knees.

"I was really scared," she said, eyes closed. "It was terrifying." Just the thought of Natsu being trapped in the flames he held dearest to his heart made her own organ pound with angst. It caused a lump to lodge itself in her sternum, almost hindering her heart's ability to fulling expand.

The duo were silent for a while, the only sound in Lucy's room coming from Natsu's ragged breathing.

"Will you.. tell me why you're in here?"

"..I'll only tell you if you listen."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hello! So, I've decided not to edit the last chapter. I suppose, if you're all okay with it, so am I!

I recently finished my other fic, _FAIRYCHAT_, so most of my time writing will be focused on this story. But, I do have _another_ fic that I'm working on! Busy, busy, busy! I'm really excited to begin that as well.

I _highly_ doubt I'm going to be able to get another update in before Christmas, so, Happy Holidays guys!

How was this chapter? Leave me your thoughts! Thank you!


	8. Seek Me

_"I have heard that we are spirits having a human experience. Perhaps those of us who have no conscience are dark spirits having a human experience."  
>― P.A. Speers<em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter Eight <em>**

* * *

><p>Natsu didn't always have an impulse disorder but.. it kind of developed over time.<p>

He'd occasionally get an urge to run the pads of his fingers over the coarse texture of charcoal or to hover his palm over the flame the stove produced. Gradually, it grew into more of an obsession, something he just _had_ to do, actions he just _had_ to perform, no matter the consequence. It didn't matter that his parents constantly scolded him, or that more and more scars were forming on his body due to his carelessness. It wasn't important. _Nothing_ else was important.

"It's always the worst in winter, you know, that is, my disorder. I don't know why, honestly.. It just.. always was." Natsu laughed sarcastically, "If you couldn't tell already, I'm a pyromaniac. Probably the biggest one in this town, if not the only one."

"It's funny.. I haven't even talked about this, really, with my counselor. There's.." He paused, searching for words. "You're different, Lucy. I like that about you." Lucy sighed, quiet enough so that Natsu couldn't hear.

_Different.._

His heart was pounding nervously within his chest, which was unusual. He's never felt this way before while talking about his disorder, so why, why with _her_? _Lucy_ of all people? With anyone else―the other patients―he'd solely feel anger. Angry at himself, for breaking apart his family. For the accident that was entirely his fault.

Natsu was afraid of telling her. Natsu was afraid of her judgement. Natsu was hesitant. He didn't want to lose her, and he'd avoid anything which caused him to do so. But this.. Would telling her what happened, would him confessing his sin cause Lucy to reject his discreet cry for friendship? He didn't know. He didn't know what was behind that forehead of hers, what laid within her thoughts. Maybe she already disliked him? Who could say? If getting over this hurdle would deepen their bond, then he'd be damned not to try his hardest to jump it.

The teenager swallowed the lump in his throat, and rubbed his palms together. When did they get so sweaty? It wasn't he was explaining to the.. officer what happened.. or..

"I.. I.. burned my house down six months ago." Lucy's eyes slowly widened as his words registered within her mind, processing the severity of their meaning. "You.. did?" she asked, a place within the back of her mind not wanting to believe, but now knowing that he was definitely capable. "Yeah." Before Lucy had the chance to speak once more, he continued. "It broke apart my family, in the end. They got divorced and I was sent here."

A shiver shook the pinkette's frame quickly, and he swallowed again. "I uh, I had a cat. His name was Happy, and he.. he was a really great cat. We had him for five years before that night; he ran away once a majority of the house was on fire, and didn't come back."

"My dad got custody of me, and my mom.. well, I don't really know where she went. Probably went to go live with her mother or somethin', I don't know." Natsu brushed his bangs out of his eyes and moved so his back rested against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him. Lucy kept her head against her arms. "My dad stopped talking to me after a while.. after we got an apartment and everything. Then, out of the blue, he told me to pack my shit 'cause I was goin' to a mental hospital and now here I am... five months later and still as impulsive as ever."

"_Cheh_.. I still can't believe I caused an explosion in the kitchen.." he mused.

Recalling the events of _that_ night caused a tightness to form in Natsu's stomach. The flames _he _created briefly trapped his mother in her bedroom. The flames _he _created bit away at the woodwork of his house, causing it to come crashing down minutes after all inhabitants were at a safe distance. The flames _he created _tore apart the prodigious relationship his father and his mother shared.

And it was all _his fault_. He deserved the isolation. He deserved the looks of.. _fear_ from his neighbors.. from the other patients that knew of his actions.

"But it was an accident, right?" Lucy picked up her head and rested it against the wall, quickly stealing a glance in his direction. "Yeah," he answered. "It was an accident so.. anything after that wasn't your fault." The blonde looked to the ceiling, raising her brows. "I mean, it was _their_ decision to treat you the way they did, you know?"

"I can.. I can tell you blame yourself, Natsu. But I don't. I don't blame you. You can't control your impulses."

Natsu kept his eyes fixated on his feet. Lucy didn't blame him. She didn't think it was his fault. But it was. Everything was. He was the reason, his disorder was the reason for other's suffering and worry.

"Lucy, I don't think you understand," he said unexpectedly. "It _is _my fault. If I had learned to control it then..!"

Suddenly, his anger was boiling. The immense disappointment that submerged itself beneath Natsu's skin was once again making its way to the surface. This happened when he thought too deeply, contemplated what he could have done differently.. how he could have mended things between his parents before it got too out of hand.

Natsu squeezed the bridge of his nose, clenching his teeth. "No, Natsu," Lucy said. "It's not your fault, really..!" He shook his head, now scowling. "I just said you didn't fucking understand, _Lucy_." He stood up quickly, remaining at the edge of the bed, and the blonde furrowed her brows. "You could never understand what that was like, what _this_ is like! Always having this _urge _to burn something! It's horrible! _I'm_ horrible!"

The girl was recoiling at this point, the pinkette's yelling catching her off guard. "Natsu, I-"

Natsu turned on his heel and walked out of Lucy's room, slamming her door shut behind him, causing a ringing to linger faintly in her ears. "Did I.. do something.. wrong?" She furrowed her brows, and then stared into her lap at her palms. "Am I too _different_ to.. have real friends?"

"Of course.. piri."

"L_ooo_cy, when do you _not _do something wrong?"

"This may be _your _punishment, Princess."

"Why can't you learn to not invade others privacy?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to speak to you anymore.. ebi."

"Just don't talk to him again, Princess."

Lucy's eyes blurred with tears. "No.. you're wrong. You're wrong, you're wrong, all of you," she whispered. They weren't right. These voices, they weren't her friends. Their faces were smeared by the hurtful words that dribbled down their chins. Her friends were wearing masks.. yes.. that was right. They were just hiding, shielding their true selves from her for a while.

"When will you all take off your masks?" she asked, which caused a breathy chuckle to sound next to her ear. "You're a fool, Lucy Heartfilia," the female voice whispered. "What you've been seeing are our masks removed."

**_[-]_**

Natsu hasn't returned to classes or the dining hall since he explained himself to Lucy but, who could blame him? After he had to recall all of the memories he pushed to the back of his mind, all of the crushing weight of his guilt probably returned to his shoulders. But he still refused to reach out for help, from his friends or the counselors. He holed himself up in his room, and Counselor Ultear had said it was best to leave him be for a while. It was causing Lucy to become incredibly perturbed, due to her thoughts constantly revolving around her friendship with the boy and the voices that refused to treat her nicely.

Lucy didn't understand.. Her friends were becoming increasingly more spiteful and Natsu's inability to communicate with others was growing. As much as _she didn't understand_, she felt the need to do something. Anything. Lucy treasured Natsu. She.. wanted him to be happy. For the time being, she'd put the pinkette before herself.

And, there was one person Lucy knew she could go to for help. After this group session, she'd be sure to go arrange a time with _him_.

Counselor Ultear grabbed everyone's attention, and asked, "Does anyone know why Natsu's isolated himself?" Erza shook her head, and Gajeel said, "How could we? He hasn't come out'ta his room to tell us, so we wouldn't know." The woman closed her eyes for a moment. "Your attitude is still as unpleasant as always, Gajeel, thank you."

"I um.. I know," the blonde announced softly, raising her hand slightly. Voices shouted things such as, "No!" and, "You _fucking_ fool, Princess!"

"Oh! Lucy." Ultear raised her eyebrows, the teenager's voice uncommon in this setting. "Would you mind telling us?" It wasn't that Lucy _minded_, it was just that the bombardment of voices were more than ready to crush her skull. After she said this, she decided, she'd asked to be excused. This way, she'd be able go talk to _him_ sooner. He seemed to be able to silence her friends.

"He was telling me about.. why he was admitted here.. and then got angry with me." The long-haired woman raised her eyebrows, and wrote something down onto the pad of paper that was in her lap. "I see.. okay. Thank you Lucy." Ultear expected as much.

"But um, may I be excused? For today? I'm not.. feeling well."

"You may."

As Lucy walked past Levy, the girl reached out and grabbed her hand. "Are you okay?" she whispered, and Lucy forced a smile and nodded her head. "Fine." Levy's eyes held hesitant worry, but she released her hold and allowed the blonde to pass.

Once the teen made it to the third floor without being caught, and checked that no nurses were walking around, she found the room labeled _SC3-9 _and quietly knocked on the door. Within ten seconds, _he _was peering through the window.

"Ah, hello Lucy.. Long time no see."

"Hi.. Rogue."

The man behind the door pressed his forehead to the glass and smirked. "Wanna come in? Nurses won't be back for a while." Lucy looked into his dark eyes, past his black bangs that shielded half his face. "Which one.. are you?" she asked, stepping closer to the door. "The one you've come to adore, Lucy. '_Future_' me," he said slyly.

Behind the wood, there were a few clicks, and the door was then pulled open. "Come in." Rogue moved out of the way so the blonde could pass through, and she then sat at the edge of his bed while he shut the door. The blinds were pulled shut so no sunlight could invade his room; a lone lamp shone dully on a corner of a large desk.

The male patient sat at his desk, and stared curiously at Lucy. "So, what do you need? I presume the key I gave you to the roof worked, no?.. I heard all of the commotion.. rather, the other 'me' did." The blonde nodded her head, and pursed her lips. "..Ye..ah, so um.. Natsu Dragneel.. do you know him?" Rogue began to scowl intensely, and he spat quickly, "You fucking kidding me? Of course I know that damn bastard."

"Why.. why do you say that?"

"When he first got here, 'e came up here and was snoopin' around and shit, and that's all you need to know," he explained acrimoniously. The male took a deep breath. "Well what about him, anyway?"

"I um.. He's mad at me and won't come out of his room and I-"

"Lucy, just get down to his room and talk to him."

"But.. But what do I.. say?"

"Listen, for guys like that, you just need to comfort him, you know? As much as he may reject you, in his heart, he wants you to remain by his side." He paused. "You can do that much, can't you, Lucy?"

She nodded her head, and yawned.

"How much sleep have you been getting?"

"Not much."

"Is it because of your friends?"

"Mhm."

"Are you taking your pills now?"

"Yeah."

"I see... How are your friends acting now?"

"Really.. hostile.." Lucy wrapped her arms around herself and formed a crease between her brows. Their presence now made her feel cold, decrepit.

"It's probably the pills' doing. You should stop taking them."

"Nurse Lisanna makes sure I swallow them."

Rogue looked up to the clock quickly before he said, "Okay. We don't have much time until the nurses come back, but I'll tell you how to make it seem like you've swallowed them."

_Later_

"Na..Natsu." Lucy knocked on his door, and within a minute, shockingly, it was opened and the blonde was welcomed inside. She stood around, until the boy directed her to sit in his Papasan Chair, while he returned to lay on his bed, facing away from her.

"What do you want, Lucy?" he asked rather harshly, and the girl inhaled shakily.

"I'm.. I'm no good with friendships, Natsu, you know that. But I.. I want to keep you as a friend!" Her neck began to heat up, and the embarrassment quickly crawled to her cheeks. "You're really special to me.. and I hate seeing you like this I.."

"You were my first friend when I came here, and .. and even Counselor Meredy said she's seen a change in me and my disorder." She paused, and swallowed the uncomfortable feeling that formed in the depths of her throat. "I'm here for you, you know..! I don't want you to blame yourself, Natsu! It wasn't your fault, please, can't you see that?!" Lucy's voice had risen, and she was beginning to feel extremely light headed. She stared to the back of his pink hair and was glad he wasn't facing her, for she probably would have lost her nerve if she could see his features.

"I'm sorry I.. made you angry earlier, but that doesn't mean that you can treat the others and me the way you've treated us!" She was becoming choked up and dizzy. The blonde stood, and began walking towards the door, saying, "I just wanted to tell you that I don't blame you and.. no one.. here blames you." Before she made it past the bed, Lucy collapsed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a great New Year's Eve, or at least close to it. I for one was watching Guilty Crown (and actually finished it right before midnight), so mine was pretty pleasing.

As always, thank all of you for your continued support!


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